Thursday, June 23, 2011

Quiet Little Neighborhood? Keep Driving.

Just when I thought that Monday's chainsaws and wood chippers couldn't be topped as far as neighborhood noise pollution, I was once again proven wrong.  I awoke Tuesday morning to what sounded like a jackhammer drilling through concrete. And wouldn't you know?   When I looked out my front door, there was a jackhammer drilling through concrete. 

Excuse my "flipped to the side" videography - I wasn't thinking too clearly while filming:

I'm not sure if this is part of a master plan to drive our family off the block or pure coincidence.  Perhaps our sprinkler-stealing tendencies have been discovered.  Perhaps the neighbors have heard us use the Lord's name in vain one time too many.  Or perhaps the large, thorny weeds that we have failed to demolish have irked the neighbors beyond repair.  In our defense, we did finally pull those suckers out and I've put enough Preen down on the landscaping to cover us the rest of the summer.

Now if I wake up tomorrow to the sound of a wrecking ball crashing through my garage, I am really going to be suspicious.

I suppose I should strive for some neighborly goodwill given our upcoming contributions to all the morning hullabaloo.  At long last, we will be pouring fresh new cement to compensate for the broken plates of concrete we've been passing off as a driveway since we've moved here.  Our very own jackhammers and bulldozers will be joining the block's home improvement soiree shortly.

Have I mentioned my next door neighbors lately?  You know, the ones I falsely considered to be sprinkler thieves until I was embarrassingly proven a first class nut job?  Well, they just put in a deck addition.  An addition.  To their deck.   I now suffer from deck envy every time I send the boys out on our back step all cramped together eating Freeze Pops.  Since the advent of the new driveway on one side of our house and the new deck addition on the other, the boys are starting to wonder if they chose their parents wisely. 

We couldn't find Joey for a couple minutes the other day while we were outside pulling weeds.   After a bit, I could hear him singing as he rode his tricycle up and down the neighbor's beautiful sealed concrete masterpiece.  When he saw me, he cried out with delight: This one is better mommy!  Can I take it to our house?

Another family sprinkler thief in the making.

Jack has also been clamouring to play basketball outside on our driveway.  With the pointy slabs of concrete liable to sever an artery at first stumble, I'd sooner he play with a nail gun.

Ah, summer.  When the sites and sounds of seasonal home improvements can only lead to a block party of injured feelings and inconvenienced neighbors.  Come to think of it, I haven't yet received any word about our block party this year. 

While our little street may not be the quietest, I guarantee that it is the odds-on favorite for best-maintained.  There is also no doubt that my family is the odds-on favorite for having the most leaves strewn across their lawn in November.

Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be holding my breath for that block party invite any time soon.