Saturday, June 11, 2011

Pediatric Mega-Practices and Their Obsession with Clipboards

If I were a betting mom, I would put the over-under on the number of cases of strep(t) my family contracts a year at 12.  To be honest, I am a bit of a betting mom, but my husband confiscates all extra cash, credit cards, and cash station cards during our allotted yearly visit to the gambling boats.  He suggested once that I could easily become a member of Gamblers Anonymous, to which I responded: duh.

I got a same-day appointment with my pediatrician who is somewhat of a baby-whisperer.  Dr. Henry Abusharif is able to get three-day-old infants to open up and say ah.  He offers his own comedy routine to every kid that comes in the door.  I've never seen anything like it.  The practice is such a nice departure from my old Lincoln Park Mega-Practice.  The Lincoln Park nurses would saddle me with 2 clipboards and 15 new forms to complete at every visit.  Just as I got situated with a toddler, an infant carrier, a diaper bag, coats, and forms, they would tell me I had to go to Room #26.  If I actually found Room #26 (instead of just giving up and settling for Room #18), a nurse would come in with more forms and clipboards before I could even put down the baby carrier.  I left that office feeling sweaty and stressed over trying to keep track of all their damn clipboards.

The nurses at Dr. Henry's office are so much different from the downtown Mega-Practice.  They remember my name and escort me immediately into an exam room (thankfully labeled 1-5).  I'm out of there in 35 minutes.  Walgreens and McDonalds are right around the corner, so you can shove nuggets down your kids while the pharmacist whips up your azithromycin.  Heaven.

Sometimes I regret moving away from the downtown area.  I miss the shopping, the museums, and mostly the energy of an urban city.  I even go as far as to visit various realtor websites to check out listed condos with lake and city views.  Yet any time I start feeling more serious about pursuing my past life of downtown living, I think about that Mega-Practice.  And then I think how often my kids get strep(t). 

So not worth it.

*Note to family members I will be seeing later today at bridal shower - I will try not to get too close to the bride in case I'm a carrier like the ebola monkey but with heels.

**Note to family members we will be seeing even later today at graduation party - Daniel will have been on antibiotics for longer than 24 hours by the time you see us - safe to hug. 

***Follow up for  Atheist-Friend - see below verification that my pantry has been revitalized, bug-sprayed and somewhat organized.  Not up to your standards, I'm sure, but pretty good for me.  In hindsight, I guess I went little crazy on Ziploc bags last time they were on sale.  I was also delighted to locate the fire extinguisher because how embarrassing would that be if our house burnt to the ground??  My husband would never live it down at the firehouse.


  1. I laughed so hard when I saw your ziplocs! Toilet paper is my vice. Always think I'm going to run out. Like I can't go to the store when we are opening the last package. Or that someone else (yeah right) will be the one to open the last package and I won't know and then I will go into the bathroom, start to go, notice the empty roll and I'll be out! Like there aren't 10 boxes of tissues I could use instead. I'm working on it...

  2. Toliet paper is another one! Too funny. I've got a few items that I'm terrified to run out of in addition: deodorant, paper towels, feminine products....nice to know I'm not alone!

  3. Mar -- I'm so impressed with your blog. Keep up the good work... your peeps are counting on you :)

  4. I was so proud to be your sister with the awesome blog and all...but Mar, Dr. Pepper? Seriously. I didn't even know they still made that stuff. Please refrain from acknowledging me in public.


    P.S. Blueberry Special K is my crack

  5. Thanks, Dr. Bret. That means a lot given you can probably pick apart my sentence structure and wildly varying tenses like no other! (:

    Meg - I don't drink pop that often, Joe is the culprit. But don't get me started on Special K's new Cinnamon Pecan - it's better than any of the Special K's put together.