Saturday, June 23, 2012

Joe Makes a Point

Once I finish unpacking, I will be sure to provide a full recap of Joe and Marianne's latest attempt to flee the children (courtesy of those American Airline vouchers discussed in this blog and our disastrous previous vacation discussed here). 

Yet before I forget, I wanted to share a conversation that occured as we took our seats on the plane several hours ago:

Flight Attendant:  You two are sitting in an EXIT ROW.  Please review the card carefully so you know what to do in case of an emergency.  WE WILL ALL BE COUNTING ON YOU.  Our lives are in your hands.

Marianne (frantically reviewing the laminated card):  If we crash, promise me you'll help me open the door, right, Joe?

Joe (still not looking up from his Fantasy Football magazine): Yes.  Whatever.  I'll get the door.

Marianne (not feeling assured): They really should let the exit row people practice opening the door before the flight.  It only makes sense.  The flight attendant said that they'll all be counting on us.  That's a lot of pressure.  Especially without the proper training.   

Joe:  (still not looking up, sarcastically):  Sure...that makes GADS of sense. Have a bunch of Joe Blow idiots opening and shutting the emergency exit doors before take-off. I'd feel real good about the safety of the cabin pressure then. Some moron shouts 'Let's go!' and half the passengers are sucked out while the guy is blubbering...'But I thought I heard it click!" 


Joe:  Did you bring gum?

Irrelevant-to-the-story Elvis picture. 



  1. Thank you very much.

    (Now the Elvis picture fits)

  2. Hey Marianne,
    I saw those same irrelevent Elvi when I was in Vegas in Sept. I posted my pic for you on FB. -Cela

  3. Years ago we took the kids to Disney world. Our young daughter looked older than she was and had the emer. door seat. It was her first time flying. When we checked in, the lady said, "don't tell them how old she really is, lie." So of course they asked and being Catholic I wasn't thinking and told the truth, at which time, the wife and daughter gave me a look, well the look most men get from wives, the "you IDIOT" look. So the daughter,had to sit with a stranger for her first take off. We laugh about it now, at least I do. I still get that look though quite often in fact, like when I left the camper canopy up in the rain, as Jim the RV guy warned me never to do and it came crashing down at 2 a.m. smashing into the wall of our camper as me,my wife and 2 Beagles awoke screaming "WTF"!!!! Moral of that story is roll up the canopy BEFORE you hit the BIG bottle of Pinot Grigio


  4. All I can say about this post is BAHAHAHAHA...

  5. There could at least be a practice door in the airport...what else is there to do while waiting to board the plane! Do you ever doubt that the occasion will arise when hundreds of folks are floating around on their seat cushions chatting about their trips?

  6. I couldn't do this; I would have to ask them to move me to another row. I don't like flying to begin with and to think they would want to count on me in an emergency, that is just asking a little too much of this timid, scared flier (and besides I don't think I would be of that much help with the amount of Xanax I take to fly :)

    hope you are enjoying (or enjoyed) your adventures!


  7. I think they just emphasize that they are counting on you in case anything goes wrong they'll have someone to blame other than themselves. Plus, if there is really an accident I'm not sure the emergency exit is really going to save anyone!

  8. esbboston - hahahahaha

    Cela - LOVED the pic! Sexy sexy bitch!

    MBF - Thank you for the important tip - I know I will never forget it. And hopefully I will own a camper one day so I can apply it!

    Haley - thanks!

    Andrea - That's BRILLIANT! I'm going to write a strongly worded letter and suggest that!!!

    That corgi - Xanax owns me. Responsibility sucks.

    Dollops - it's kinda like giving sailors shark repellant, isn't it?