The Super-Secret Weapon of the Chicago Blackhawks

Game #7 tonight?

It's in the bag.

Trust me.

Read the full story HERE in today's Chicago Parent.

Jack & his "rally rag"

Killing the Family Pets

With recurring storms and torrential rain pummeling the midwest, local ants have happily taken up residency in homes around Chicago. So much in fact, that Joey now considers these unwanted visitors his "pets."  He names them.  He offers to feed them.  He's tried to organize them into a game of ant hockey.

And no, we're not buying him a dog. 

After I disclosed how many carcinogens I have been releasing into my household to  rid ourselves of these little buggers, a childhood friend sent me an emergency supply of anti-bug stuff that she sells through Organnica Inc.

For the record, I am not a diligent investigator of all things chemical.  I figured my 1980s hairspray consumption has forever prohibited my involvement in any organic or environmental support group.

Still.

I have these kids.  And I was using a LOT of bug spray.

So I'm giving the natural stuff a try, and I'm particularly anxious to see how the bug repellent works out, too.  We all have about 30 mosquito bites and I'm sick of the whining.  Geez, when I was a kid, you got bit and were happy about it, no?

If anyone is interested in ordering their own non-cancer bug stuff, feel free to contact my pal Jennifer:

Okay, I'd better go and spray some Swerve.  Joey is trying to get his flock of ants to sit and watch television with him.

I don't think they're cooperating.

Secrets

I don't believe there should be secrets in marriage.

Except perhaps when Joe asks "what happened to the minivan?"

I promised the culprit I wouldn't rat her out.  It wasn't like she could have predicted that shopping cart would fly into her...er...THE minivan. 

But Joe feels differently.

Pop over and read full story in today's Chicago Parent.

Random Photo Monday

I took this gem on our way home from Florida last month:

Unadilla:  Where People Make a Difference.  At the Adult Superstore.

I laughed all the way to Kentucky.

Win a Minivan!

So here's the thing.

I am totally planning on winning that $600,000,000 tonight. 

But I need some good mojo going into the drawing. 

This is where you come in.

Leave a comment below along the lines of "Go, Marianne!" BEFORE the drawing.

And if I win the big drawing (millions and millions of dollars)?

I'm getting you a minivan, loyal reader.*

That's right. 

A brand spanking new minivan.

You can even pick out the color.

Because EVERYBODY deserves a minivan.

We'll all go shopping together.

Maybe Oprah will come.

Poor old minivan.

Let's make it happen!


*Contest (based on Marianne actually winning 100+ million) limited to first 30 commenters.  Odds of winning: 1 in a bazillion.  Marianne's thrill in providing free minivans to loyal readers = infinite.

Bad Idea

I suffered a complete lapse in judgement last week.  Can you guess what I volunteered to do? 

Hint:

Damn kids.  Always running. 

Just kill me now.

Full story HERE in today's Chicago Parent.