Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Let Me Eat Cake

For me, weddings are about one thing:


Check out the lengths I will go to in order to ensure nobody messes with my cake - read about it in today's Chicago Parent.

Update:  Aunt Ellen sent me this classic picture from her wedding and I had to share. That would be me with the "Dorothy Hamill" haircut (which to lead to hundreds of people commenting to my mom:  "What a darling little boy!"). 


Sunday, November 25, 2012

When Mary Marries

My husband's family has a history of throwing legendary weddings.  I have been looking forward to his sister Mary's union for months.  Sadly, the big event has passed and I am not yet able to put together appropriate words to capture all the fun.

Mostly because I have reached my recommended daily allowance for Excedrin Migraine.

I am told the party lasted until 6 am the next morning.  I still don't know how Joe and I wound up with a rogue visitor from Ireland on our couch.  To be fair, the gentleman was quite pleasant and tidy.  I think he fled once the kids woke up and asked to play Battleship.

I thought I'd share a few pics courtesy of all the relatives who posted on Facebook:

I'm not going to tell you EXACTLY where we ordered our bridesmaid dresses, but let's just say our experience was less than stellar.  Think Pearl Harbor.

A certain Chicago fireman we know & love walking his gorgeous sister down the aisle.
The kids outlasted (and out-danced) most of the adults.
John the groom (right) with the same smile he wore for 24 hours straight. 
Whoever this poor worker is, I deeply apologize.
Could. Not. Be. More. Beautiful.

This would be the after-party, right after I woke up from a little "nap" (or possible brief period of unconsciousness courtesy of some generously-poured cocktails).


Congratulations John & Mary!!!

Monday, November 19, 2012

I Can't Believe I'm Sharing This

For Marianne's first (and possibly last) radio appearance, click below:

Worst WGN Guest EVER

For the record, I came from a family of four kids, not seven.  I was nervous. 

Joe is the one who came from a family of seven.

English majors aren't good at math.

Or at radio.

Or at hiding the donuts once they realize the nutrition expert is in the studio:



I don't care what the "industry people" recommend for next time (if there is one).  Jim Beam and I will be tying one on. 

Kathie Lee & Hoda got it right.

Which is why I'm only listening to drunk women from here on out.


Friday, November 16, 2012

Marianne to Appear on WGN Radio 720

I'm on the hook for some major do-gooding.  Like donating blood, saving orphans and curing lupus kinds of things.

What have I done now, you ask?

Nothing.  Well, just the regular stuff, really.  I got the back of my  neck waxed for my upcoming bridesmaid gig.  We're all sporting updo's.  I have a monkey neck.  I would have taken pictures to prove my point, but I figured some of you might be eating. 

Anyhoo, the fates and fabulous blogger Cathy Cassani Adams bestowed yet another incredible opportunity upon my undeserving butt yesterday.  It involves a radio appearance and quite possibly some alcohol.

The only microphone I should ever consider using.

But wait.  Let me introduce Cathy before I get ahead of myself (from her official bio):

Cathy Cassani Adams is a parenting expert and self-awareness teacher who supports parents in uncovering their authentic selves and inner joy so they can raise their children in a calm, loving, and supportive environment. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a PCI Certified Parent Coach®, a Certified Elementary School Teacher and a Certified Yoga Teacher.

Cathy is Adjunct Faculty in the Sociology Department at Dominican University, she received her Master’s in Social Work from Loyola University, and her Bachelor’s in Elementary Education from Drake University.  

Cathy is the author of The Self-Aware Parent and The Self-Aware Parent Two and she co-hosts Zen Parenting Radio with her husband Todd.  She teaches yoga at her local studio. 

Impressive, right?

All educated and licensed and adjuncted.  Warm and insightful.  A YOGA lover.

Yeah, I avoided Cathy at first, too.  She was a fellow blogger on Chicago Parent before she scooched over to Chicago Now.  But I decided to check my cynicism at the door and give some of her ideas a whirl.

The "be in the moment" stuff.  The "keep your children emotionally safe" stuff.

It was hard for a mom who occasionally threatened to send her kids to the orphanage.

But her ideas held water.  In difficult situations, the my-way-or-the-highway approach failed.  Cathy's way yielded a calmer Marianne and more reasonable children.

Go figure.

After becoming a reluctant convert to some of Cathy's thinking, I pretty much assumed she used my blog as a case study on how NOT to parent.  All of my over-scheduling and over-reacting?  Not Cathy's style.

But guess what she went and did?

As a frequent guest on Bill Moller's WGN Radio 720  show, Cathy displays inordinate knowledge and poise during each appearance. 

And then she recommended the anti-Cathy to Bill.  The one person who doesn't know the difference between downward facing dog and a push-up.  Yours truly. 

For those interested in hearing me screw up any chances of ever appearing on The View, check out WGN Radio 720 (link to listen live)  at 10:30 am-ish (CENTRAL) this Saturday.   I have a feeling I may go down as the most frenetic interviewee ever.

Not counting Charlie Sheen.

Which brings me back to the alcohol.

Sadly, I depleted my supply getting the old neck waxed (Revolutionary War anesthesia, I'm told).  There are a lot of nerves in your neck.

No matter.  Thank you, Cathy.  For this amazing opportunity. 

I will try very hard to be "in the moment." 

And I pray whoever controls the BLEEP button has very fast hands.


(If unable to listen live, I may be able to link to a podcast later.  Please note that I am often an unintelligible blur of rapid-fire ideas and words strung together with caffeine and Red Bull. Advise your doctor of any history of high blood pressure or seizure disorder before tuning in).

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I Went to Parent-Teacher Conferences & Liked It

Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend I'm a farmer:


But then I remember I have allergies, I hate the outdoors, and hard physical labor sucks.

So instead, I go to Parent-Teacher conferences in the big city and write about having to sign a form explaining concussions in case my child is injured during his after-school activity.

Which is CHESS by the way.  Apparently those chess kids can be brutal.

Click HERE for my latest in Chicago Parent.