Refinance Rumble

I really just wanted to get my Halloween decorations put up yesterday.  So I shoved Joe out the door with Joey and a coupon for Konow's Pumpkin Farm and set about my house with an ungodly number of  pumpkin window gels.  Good times.

Joey was sure to pick out some extras for his "bludders" Dan & Jack.

Then the phone rang.  It was Joe.

Hey, Dennis just told me that mortgage rates just hit an all-time low.  Can you look into that today?  Maybe we can do a refinance?

Curses.  Dennis is Joe's best friend and a very nice guy, but he just mucked up my entire day.  I put down my window gels and sat down at the computer, looking up various banks and requesting quotes.  I really wasn't up for the task, but Joe knew full well that I am physically incapable of ignoring money-saving opportunities.  It's why I buy in bulk.  It's why I shop Goodwill.  It's why I need medicine.

On a whim, I called Archer Bank.  The guy quoted me 3.95%  I nearly laughed.  That can't be right.

Me:  That's on a 30-year?

Mortgage Guy:  Yup.

Me:  No points?

Mortgage Guy:  Nope.

Me:  You guys are actually making money on this?

Mortgage Guy:  Not really.

Me:  What do I need to do to lock in that rate?

Mortgage Guy:  (and I'm paraphrasing here):  You need to get me a sh*tload of paperwork within the next couple of hours and drop off an application because these rates aren't set in stone.  They can change in like 3 minutes.  Maybe even a minute and a half.  Now GO!

Me:  Sh*t.  Sh*t.  Sh*t.

I knew I hadn't filed any of my important paperwork in like a year.  Now I was in the position of having to locate 2 years worth of tax returns, pay stubs, insurance documents, and bank statements in a mountain of stuff that included drawings from the boys, medical receipts, bills, school notices, and ripped-out Box Tops for Education.

Stupid File Pile.

It took me 3 hours and 6 phone calls to Joe to find all of the paperwork required.  Then my printer broke.  So I cried.  If any of my neighbors were around, I am sure they could describe the sounds of a sobbing woman talking about her window gels in the house next door. 

I bought my window gels at the end of last Halloween season for like a nickel! 

After some last-minute pawning off of children on Atheist-Friend and Miniature-Friend, we were at Archer Bank with our stack of papers.  I wish Joe would have told me that I still had mascara smeared across my face from all the crying.

So we are apparently locked in at a really great rate that will allow us enough extra money to perhaps buy Danny some new pajamas that aren't 3 inches too short on him. In typical Joe fashion, I got a scolding for not feeling overly blessed at being in a position where we can actually take advantage of these great rates.  Joe always likes to point out that people are suffering in the world and I need to be happier and more appreciative.

Hogwash.  I'm too sardonic to be grateful.  Plus, I know about suffering.  I used to walk 2 miles to work every day.  In the snow.  Uphill.  In heels.   

Geez I gotta get back on that plan.  Being a size 8 was awesome.

Gotta go.  10 minutes to Wapner.