Friday, March 8, 2013

The Time I Was On Oprah

Some years back, my husband and I were traipsing through Darvin Furniture looking for some beds for our boys.  As we wandered about, a lady approached and asked if we wanted to be part of the store's new television ads.  Our responses:

Joe:  Um.  Well.  Uhhhh.  It's not really....

Marianne (interrupting):  Sure!

There were several ads that aired which included us talking about everything from the prices to the size of the store.  For years, we would get random phone calls from friends spotting us on television:

"You guys are La-OOZERS."

"I'm not sure if I'm sober enough to have even seen this right, but were you guys on a DARVIN commercial?"

"Just saw you two on Oprah.  Dorks."

That's right.  They aired one of the commercials during Oprah.  I can totally say I was on Oprah.  Kinda.

Anyway, things finally settled down and I nearly forgot about the whole experience.  Yet my memory was triggered recently and someone asked if any of the ads were available via YouTube.  I checked, and wouldn't you know!



This would be the one that Cousin Kate kindly refers to as "Marianne nodding and looking adoringly into Joe's eyes as though he has just revealed the very keys to salvation."

Yup.  I'm quite the actress.

Now here's the thing.  We only got paid in a $50 gift certificate to the store.  Yet I never noticed that the card had an EXPIRATION date on it until I went to use it and the saleslady turned me away.  "Sorry - no can do!"



I'm counting on the power of the blogosphere to right this grave injustice.  If everyone can take just a second to decry the senseless refusal of my awesome Darvin gift card, who knows what could happen?  I could buy a throw pillow.  Click here to make your voice heard:

SAVE MARIANNE'S GIFT CARD!

Now that I've thought about it, Joey's room doesn't have a lamp in it and he's been begging for one for years.  So do it. 

It's for the children.

39 comments:

  1. The Darvin people are either gonna love you or curse you. Let's cross our fingers for the love, then they may even throw in an extra pillow or lamp.
    How Fun that you found that! The wonders of YouTube. You are a star!





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    1. Story of my life, right, J.R.? You Tube makes sure that anything slightly embarrasing lives on FOREVER! Thanks, though - now if I could only find an agent...

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  2. OMG I am laughing so hard.
    You looked like you were gonna cry!
    Did those mean Darvin people make you cry???
    Because if they did, there is gonna be hell to pay.
    And if you don't get your gift card, I say we wear Poop on Darvin tee shirts to Blogher instead.
    I will make them.

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    1. Naw - these Darvin people have very affordable furniture. I probably look like I'm gong to cry because I had babies back-to-back and was very sleepy. I'm investigating more poop shirts now... Thank you for always standing with me in such solidarity, Kari!

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  3. I did it. But I had to leave my PHONE number and that is a problem. How are you going to handle your adoring fans when they get mad about getting calls from Darvin Furniture, who, by the way, I have never heard of.

    You are too funny.

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    1. Oh sh*t! You don't think they're really gonna CALL people, do you?? Once again, I didn't quite think my plans all the way through... Sorry about that. ):

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  4. I think you should get interest, too. That would buy a pillow AND a lamp.

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  5. Replies
    1. Ha! I'm still hoping that truth and beauty and goodness and sh*t will prevail. Hope springs eternal...

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  6. Um, if you get banned from the store, it certainly has nothing to do with what I wrote on my comment form. If you get an absolutely ridiculous explanation of why they can't honor it, they stole that from my inquiry. If I get a phonecall from them, somebody is in trouble!

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    1. Ruh Roh. WHY don't I plan better??? I'm deeply sorry. In advance. Cuz you know how this is going to turn out...

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  7. Oh now that was priceless! :)

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  8. I filled out the form. I hope you get your gift card saved!! Cute commercial :)

    betty

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  9. That poor lampless boy! And just think of what he'll endure when he reaches teenhood and his peers discover his parents were in a furniture commercial, which is on YouTube. That kid deserves compensation.

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    1. Oh crap. The real power of the internet? My parenting gaffes are public and my boys will never wonder "did that really happen?" I'm screwed.

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  10. We buy most of our furniture from Darvin and Bill at that antique store on 111th. Does Darvin know who they're dealing with?

    GSY
    Middle Age Musings

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    1. They might know EXACTLY who they are dealing with....hence the "go away crazy lady...GO AWAY." That place on 111th is always cranky with me when I go in there. Probably because I have kids and they're nervous they're going to break things. Can't say as I blame them...

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  11. Aww, you WERE looking at him all adoringly! I could practically see the thought bubble above your head saying "Oh Joe, you're so dreamy..."

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    1. I should've brought my "I heart Joe" pillow, no? He is rather dishy. (;

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  12. Totally priceless. Forget gift cards, where's your Emmy???

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    1. Forget Emmy - I think this is OSCAR-worthy (the fact that it's not an actual movie doesn't bother me at all). Thanks, Vesuv!

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  13. You did giggle, that has to be worth 50 bucks.

    xxo
    MOV
    ps-- you are very photogenic on tv!!!

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  14. Wait a minute. It expired in 2007 and you want to still use it? You really, truly are a DORK.

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    1. Now where's all that LTYM love, Tracey?? You're supposed to have my back, logic and reason notwithstanding. And yes, I am a dork. That fact has NEVER been disputed. (;

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  15. Marianne I finally found you back!! So glad to see you were telling the truth when you said you weren't a Russian spammer. Now I can say that I totally know someone famous. (Even though given I live in Australia I don't know what a Darvin is)

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    1. Reunited at long last! And I don't think anyone outside the Chicagoland area knows what a Darvin is, so don't feel bad! Signed, The Russian Would-be Spammer

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  16. Ha!!! You are so cute. I filled out the form and hoping you get to use your gift certificate!

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    1. Thanks, hi-d! I knew I could count on you!

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  17. Made me smile, which is worth 1 million dollars!

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    1. Thanks, Crack! Always happy to help! (:

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  18. I always wondered about those types of commercials. Were the people actors? Were they real customers? Now I know. I'm sort of baffled that they can run your commercial for an eternity, but your compensation expires.

    P.S. You have certainly had more than 15 minutes of fame! Look at you...TV, radio, book store, stage.

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  19. I have already read ahead and know that your mommy blogger minions have righted the egregious wrong of an expirable (totally a word, I'm a mommy blogger, and I say so) gift card as payment for a commercial that will continue to play into infinity. So, I will not click over and give Darvin some more mommy blogger grief. I will, however, totally give you the mommy blogger seal of approval for your Oprah appearance--I totally think it counts.

    However, I may be biased because I was once invited to be on Oprah's best friend Gayle King's short-lived '90s talk show (it's a long stupid story, but it was in response to an opinion piece I had published in The Buffalo News and, back in those snail mail only days, the request didn't reach me in time) and I've been counting that as "almost being on Oprah" ever since. (And twenty years later, I apparently will still take any excuse to bring it up...) ;)

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    1. Masked Mom!!! That TOTALLY counts and look at you, almost-famous and sh*t!! Awesome! Sorry the letter didn't make it in time - but I'd be bringing up that story on a daily basis, too. Is there a blog about it I missed??? xoxo Mar

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