Friday, March 22, 2013

Heartless

When I walked past the baked goods section of Pete's Fresh Market, I had no intention of buying anything.  Yet when I heard a lady ordering some kind of mini-cake with chocolate mouse, my focus and will-power changed.

I needed one of those.

With the three boys bouncing around like ping-pong balls, I opted for a hasty exit.  I didn't really take a good look at my purchase until much later.  That's when I noticed:


IT WAS LOOKING AT ME.

My chocolate cake had eyes.  And a sad face.  It was silently pleading with me not to kill him.

I couldn't bring myself to do the unthinkable.  I offered to split the "treat" so my trio could each have some.  Jack and Joey declined.

Danny, on the other hand, gobbled him up without second thought.

I guess I know who'll be pulling the plug on me in the nursing home, right?

27 comments:

  1. Hahaha, oh my gosh, I'm cracking up! And you are so right! Why in the world did they put a SAD face on it???

    I would still have eaten it though...I mean, we ARE talking about chocolate cake here.

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    1. I tried, Kianwi. I TRIED.

      I'm such a wimp.

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  2. Hahaha! My daughter won't eat anything with a face either. You should have seen her agonizing over the Ginger bread men. She finally just put her cookie in her doll crib and covered it up with a blanket.

    Stay out of the nursing home at all costs...you may need to become a runaway Grandma someday. haha!

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    1. I love that she put a blanket on her cookie. That kid has a wonderful heart. And I'm thinking about a restraining order once I actually move to the home....

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  3. That made me laugh so freakin hard!!! Oh my gosh. I love you girl.

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    1. Thanks, Kat!! I am glad my twisted little mind has people like you to laugh at its ways once in a while!

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  4. I can't eat things with faces either.. I mean.. I'm a vegetarian for crying out loud.. I don't even eat things that once had faces on them. I'm thinking I would've done the same thing if in your situation.

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    1. You're a softie, Larissa. The world needs more like you. Additionally, the pastries-with-eyes population has asked if you'd please adopt them. (;

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  5. OMG...please say you didn't eat him?????
    Now I feel sad.

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    1. Sorry, Kari.

      R.I.P. Big brown chocolate blob guy

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  6. The person who made it had to have done it on purpose. That person probably has a terrific sense of humor. I'd advise going back to the market and finding out who the baker was. Then make them your friend immediately

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    1. Why do I have a feeling the baker and I share an affinity for the occasional..er..."beverage?" But I do like funny people. ON IT, Cynthia!

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  7. What on earth is going on with that wonky baked good?!?Too much Rumchata? His eyes are all shifty and one is turned, and what did they frost that frown out of. I need some answers...so I can make some!

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    1. Damn, you miss NOTHING, Andrea. The turned eyeball was my fault. When I picked it up, the eyeball popped out and just kinda mooshed it back in. I think the frown frost is just the chocolate mouse from the inside that was dragged along when they made the frown.

      I'm practically SNOPES. Now get cookin'!

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  8. I have no idea what that is, but it looks delicious. I have no shame -- I'd have taken a bite so quickly no one would have known it ever had a face. No guilt for me!

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    1. I need your gumption, Jennifer! Next time, next time...

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  9. Why is there kitty litter all over it???
    You know those aren't sprinkles, right?

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    1. Thanks, Tina. Now I don't feel like I really missed out on much. heh heh.

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  10. Oh this gave me a good laugh. I'm the kind of person who eats teddy bear biscuits head first, but even I would have struggled to eat that thing.

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    1. It's like he was BEGGING...I'd best learn to quiet these voices before Joe has me put away!

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  11. Wow, that is the most depressed looking cake I've ever seen!

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    1. Poor thing. He knew what was coming....

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  12. I have a sweet tooth right now, and sad face or not I want to even lick the computer screen.
    Hey I have a teen with a license. Looks like somebody is going to the store for a junk food run for mom.
    No sad faces though!

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    1. A teen willing to do an emergency junk food run???? Why, I'd never leave the house! Send 'em over!

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  13. how funny! Interesting that 2 of your boys didn't want to destroy (eat) the thing. maybe had you pulled the eyes off, they would have felt less compassion. Anything that LOOKS at you has a soul, you know. :-)
    from The Dugout

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    1. I don't think I've EVER come across a food with so much "soul," Mare! I'm not sure if I had the heart to remove its eyes, either. When did I get so soft???

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  14. Why on earth would they make him with such a sad face?! Nothing like laying more guilt on to people who might already feel a tad guilty for having a dessert anyway. I would have just one up'ed them and eaten two. (PS - If you need a plug puller, I'm your girl!)

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