Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Darvin Furniture: The Exciting Conclusion

My thought process rarely extends past the next carpool. When other mothers ask about my schedule, I am like that old cartoon segment on Sesame Street.  You know the one, right? A little girl skips along trying to remember three things:

A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.

But in my case, it is:

Get Joey off the bus, pick up Danny from his stop, gather Jack from school.

Once I handle that, only then can I focus on the next three things:

Take Dan to the orthodontist, drive the kids to chess, drop everyone off at swimming.

My life is a series of the the next three things. Yet when I blog, I live completely in the moment. There is no real plan or order to what I write. I'm like that plastic bag in Forrest Gump: I flit and float wherever the wind takes me.

So when I rambled on the other day about my inability to use an expired Darvin Furniture Gift Card given to Joe and me when we appeared in their commercial (see full post HERE), I really didn't consider what would happen next. Sure, I asked everyone to click the comment link and encourage the store to reconsider its stance on my expired card, but I didn't believe anyone would actually do it.

Have I mentioned how AWESOME my readers are? Because they totally did it. They sent Darvin a whole slew of "Let the poor, crazy girl use her flippin' gift card" requests. 

You'd think maybe then I would have anticipated the phone call I received from the manager of Darvin? Wrong again. When the caller ID showed DARVIN FURNITURE on my phone, I panicked.

Crap, were they going to sue me?

Was I in trouble?

Did I still owe them for our TempurPedic bed??

Bob the store manager instantly put my mind at ease. He didn't demand I withdraw my crazy-ass post.  He didn't hand me off to his lawyers. In fact, he was really nice.

And he promised I could use my long, long, long expired gift card whenever I came in next. Poor little Joey would finally get that lamp for his room.

Bob and I chatted a few more minutes about his many years at Darvin and how the commercial still plays in the store (oh God, our big hair!).  Then he confessed something I have often heard, but never quite believed:

"You simply don't mess around with those mommy bloggers, ha ha. Right Marianne? I mean they're like a force to be reckoned with, no?"

Holy moly.  I suddenly felt like The Godfather.  Or maybe more accurately...

The Godblogger.

See Joey there in the middle?  He did that for 365 days in a row.  I think that pretty much makes me a "made" mom, no? 

THANK YOU SO MUCH, READERS AND BOB! 

I promise to use this power for good, and not for evil. 

Or maybe I'll just work on getting everyone some free cannoli. 

32 comments:

  1. Oh the possibilities Mwa ha ha ha ha!

    So glad this story had a happy ending for you. I hope we get to see pictures of this lamp once you pick it up.

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    1. Singlemumof1 - Thank you, and of course I'll be getting pics! This is ME we're talking about! (:

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  2. Remind me never to mess with you! And btw, my favorite part of seeing that commercial on air was when Tim looked at me and just said "You know someone at Darvin had to give him that tie. Who the hell dresses up to go to Darvin?"

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    1. LOL! That's what Lucy said, "You guys went furniture shopping after a funeral or something?" We actually came BACK to the store a week or so later knowing we'd be on the commercial. And Joe does in fact have his own tie...you know, for "funerals and sh*t."

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  3. cannoli?? Fer REALZ? And can't they take the el, fercryin' outloud?

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    1. Fer REALZ, Kirb! I'm working on the el, but damn kids can't figure out the stupid turnstyle.

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  4. Its a Christmas Miracle!!!
    No wait.
    Its a St. Patrick's Day Miracle!!!
    I think all of us should go shopping at Darvin WITH you.
    I am really good at picking out lamps.
    Oh and my five year old is STILL pulling a Joey.
    Every single day.

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    1. Let me know a date that works for you and I'm in! I'll video tape it. It could be my first VLOG (is that what they're called?). And I SUCK at picking out lamps (which is why Joey doesn't have one), so I'd really appreciate the help.

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  5. the godblogger . . . . hahahahaha

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    1. Thanks, Judy - I was hoping someone would appreciate that!

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  6. I had no idea you were so powerful. I am totally staying on your good side so I don't end up sleeping with the fishes.

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    1. Keep your friends close....

      HAHAHA. I'm so full of it! I'd be a horrible mobster - all that good Italian food would distract me from doing anything rotten.

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  7. mmm cannoli. you sooo don't mess with mom bloggers ;)

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    1. EXACTLY. Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.

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  8. I wonder what he was afraid a godblogger might put in his bed. Sooooo glad they couldn't refuse (and ever happier that they didn't call me!)

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    1. A quarter? Like under his pillow? It's the only thing I can think of. I am SO relieved they didn't call you & the other loyal members of the mom brigade. I would have felt terrible (see: another reason why Marianne could never have been a mobster).

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    2. Noooo, like instead of the horse's head! A bagful of boogy tissues? Smushed goldfish crackers?

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  9. LOL; I love it!! So glad you get to spend your gift certificate whenever you choose to; expired or not! I too would have panicked if I saw the number on my Caller ID :)

    betty

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    1. Thank GOD I had already had a little of my favorite after-hours beverage. I don't think Bob even noticed my slurred speech. I can't WAIT to have Joey pick out his lamp - this is going to be fun!

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  10. Wahoo! That's so awesome. Now THAT'S how a company ought to treat their customers. KUDDOS to them and congrats to YOU!

    I am currently battling a chair manufacturer who won't stand behind their product. We bought M a rocker/recliner and noticed some metal poking through the back corners of the fabric...a safety issue for sure, but the owner/manufacturer REFUSES to do anything because it is past the 90 day warranty. I contacted him about 6 months after we purchased it. No go! I've even contacted the FTC, the Attorney General and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. This is NOT over according to me. GRRRRR…

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    1. Keep fighting, hi-D! That chair manufacturer won't stand a chance!

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  11. That's awesome! Way to go Godblogger and your Band of Mothers/Readers! Glad to hear you get to use your gift card after all and have another great story to tell!

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    1. Thanks, Kathy! It IS all about the story, right?

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  12. Gold star again for Band of Mothers! How to celebrate? I have my predictions which shall remain annon.

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    1. You understand me like nobody else, Carol. Cheers!

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  13. Good for you! I want to know more about how I can use my blog to get free cannoli. Do you think that's possible? lol

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    1. Apparently, all you have to do is call the Cannoli factory and say, "I'm Barb and I am a mommy blogger." I think they'll stock you up for the year. (;

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  14. And the Godblogger made Bob an offer he couldn't refuse; she said, "Let there be light in Joey's room or else..." And there was light and we all had cannoli to celebrate. Mmmm, cannoli...

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    1. You understand, don't you Masked Mom? I also asked "Let there be an end to cellulite," but that one didn't quite pan out....

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