The New Joys of Poise

Ever since I started blogging, I have been WAITING for this day to arrive.  The day where I can say a company recognized my complete allegiance, loyalty, and devotion to them and  tapped me to be their national spokeswoman. 

I suppose I am not "technically" a national spokeswoman, but I've decided to run with that exact story for this week (along with my being the secret, long-lost love child of Elvis Presley and Princess Grace). 

When I originally started spotting the little Poise ads appearing on the BlogHer ad rotation (my blog network), I was over the moon with excitement.  After all, I buy Poise and GoodNights--both Kimberly-Clark products--by the barrel.  Whenever I laugh, I pee.  And I also know a thing or two about GoodNights.  When I first started getting my boys to sleep through the night, NOTHING kept sheets quite as dry as GoodNights.  I mean it.  The rest of the products out there s-u-c-k-e-d.   You end up doing gads of laundry every morning and cursing your decision to have children.   GoodNights single-handedly saved my sons from being deposited at an orphanage or neighborhood "safe haven."

Anyway, I know pee and the power of Poise.  I've cracked a hundred jokes about my reliance on them:

I went through THREE Poise Pads because that movie was so funny!

You are hilarious!  I need to go change my Poise pad now.

Oh, STOP.  I just put on a fresh Poise!

Do you guys remember that episode of Friends where Joey accidentally appeared in an STD ad and was mortified?  When I told my husband that I was doing this Poise program, he had the same reaction.  Really?  You want the world to know you've got...er....issues?

Hello?  My base is moms.  Most of us pee ourselves when we reach to turn on a lamp.  We've also got a whole assortment of other issues impacting our hormones, freshness, and (shhh) "relations." 

So when the nice people at my favorite factory in the whole world sent me some new goodies to check out, I was all over it:

The goods. 

Now that I am considered to be "approaching menopause" (hang on while I sob into my hoodie for a sec), I have noticed the old hormones are definitely changing things up in ways I never really expected.

I should proceed here with a certain delicacy that usually escapes me.  It's not like I have any pride (have I mentioned I pee myself?).  It's just that I do have a husband who was raised with 5 brothers and who panics whenever I say "period" in public.  My general candor with things is what will probably one day kill him.  Poor guy.  He's such a Puritan.

Anyway, the Poise Personal Lubricant?  It's nice.  And that's all you're going to get from me.  You're welcome, Joe.

The Cooling Towelettes are GENIUS.  Not only do they help you stay clean and fresh, but they also provide a cooling sensation.  This phenomenon could possibly lead to use of that aforementioned lubricant.  NOT THAT I'M IMPLYING THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. 

Gosh, I could use a cigarette right about now. 

KIDDING, honey.

The Feminine Wash was very light and had a really nice soapy, slightly fruity smell.  I am one of those people who suffers migraines when exposed to over-fragranced products, and I really enjoyed the scent of this product.  No headaches whatsoever. 

The end result of my little experiment with the new Poise Feminine Wellness line was overwhelmingly positive.  I feel super fresh, a bit tingly, and ready to do all kinds of things today (or tonight if you get my gist).

Sorry, Joe.

I tried.

For more information and to sign up for a coupon or sample, visit the Poise Facebook page.

 And now for the sweepstakes!  To enter for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card, answer this question in the comments section below - “How are you approaching life's changes confidently?”

Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
1. Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
2. Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: "#SweepstakesEntry"; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
3. Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
4. For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 4/04/13-4/30/13.
Be sure to visit the Poise brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!