Monday, January 7, 2013

A New Sheriff In Town

Bailey's and I are so over.

I have this wonderful niece, Ellie. She is a 21 year old college student in the process of getting her Master's in accounting. Ellie is very smart, and I trust her opinion on all kinds of things. Namely technology and liquor.

College students are really good at technology and liquor.

So when Ellie poured me a glass of this on Christmas Eve, I felt confident I would not be led astray:

 
Holy Great God of Thunder.  RumChata is like French Toast in a fancy white bottle.  Creamy, cinnamon-y heaven.
 
Needless to say, I had to get some of my own.
 
I went to FOUR stores.  FOUR.
 
They were sold out everywhere.
 
It was like trying to buy a Cabbage Patch Kid circa 1983.
 
Finally, I found the last remaining bottle hidden behind a Pina Colada mix at a Dominick's off 143rd & Bell. 
 
With a lot of writing on the docket for last night, I poured myself a glass for inspiration.
 
And then another.
 
And finally, a third.
 
I giddily submitted my pieces to various people, blogs, and editors feeling quite confident that I was in fact the funniest person ever to have lived.
 
This morning?
 
Crap crap crap.  
 
I think I wrote about my unholy fear of carwashes in one essay, and in another piece, I used the word "penis" 145 times.
  
RumChata, ladies and gentlemen.
 
My new muse.
 
Let's give her a nice, warm welcome, shall we?

35 comments:

  1. I'll have to try it. I've made it a point not to email anyone while drinking CC with an MGD chaser, especially anything or anyone related to my job. My credo is "friends don't let drunk friends email".

    Happy New Year Marianne and a word to the wise, NEVER, EVER, EVER go to Disney when school is out and/or bowl games are being played.

    MBF

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    1. Now where have you been all these years with this sage advice? You could have saved me a LOT of embarrassment.

      I'm jotting down your recommendations re: Florida. Good to know.

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  2. Yum!! Doesn't Vampire Weekend have a song about Horchata? Perhaps there is something inspirational in that stuff.

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    1. There you go speaking in code again. I had to google "Vampire Weekend" to understand they're a band. At first I was thinking all the vampires rise up once a year and do a flash mob singing event. You're way too cool for me, Mama!

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    2. Oh my goodness! I just love you both!! Ha!! Although I do know who Vampire Weekend are (and I listen to Oxford Comma every childless chance I get, so like twice a year), I have not heard of this new elixir...I wonder if they sell it in middle earth? Checking about the third week of July!!

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  3. I love this! I'll have to pick some up the next time I go to the liquor store. Though, I'm going to have to hide my computer before I drink for fear of what I'd write on Facebook.

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    1. Give anonymous/MBF commenter a call. He is a professional thwarter of all thing inappropriate. Let me know what you think!

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  4. Welcome RumChata! I love you already, for your silhouette vaguely resembles my own. So what was the topic that got peppered with penises (penisi?)

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    1. Oh Andrea. I can't even begin to explain myself on this one. Joe needs to keep me away from my computer.

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  5. BTW...I asked my FB friends if they ever heard of it and wow did I get the replies. So today while out shopping I looked in the liquor section and bingo, found a stash.
    MBF

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    1. That's it. I'm friending you on FB (if I can find the right one). Which store had them??? My sister-in-law has been looking all over!

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  6. Ha! I'm curious to read the penis article.

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    1. I'm not sure that one will ever see the light of day. To be continued....

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  7. Holy Mary, Mother of God...just what I need. A new liquor that I can throw back with abandon. Please send me a list of forty-seven more types of alcohol so that I can die quickly and happily. Be with us now and at the hour of our death.

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    1. I shall always be with you, Kirby. Offering new liquors and holding back your hair. I'm a good friend that way. (;

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  8. I have no words..

    I... Nope. Nothing.

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    1. No a drop, Larissa! Not. A. Drop.

      Who am I kidding? You're the girl who would've kept me on track in college.

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  9. LOL!!! I must try some of this......though I fear it will be like trying Word Tornado for the first time and I'm sure there are lots of calories in this......must stay away from this......

    LOL indeed!!

    (oh my, I'm so enjoying Epic Mom; laughed so hard over the First Wife's Perspective that hubby turned to look, so I had to share it with him, he in turn was laughing......)

    betty

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    1. You've got a bit of a vice personality, too? I knew I liked you, Betty. Come sit with me.

      I'm so ridiculously happy the book made you laugh! And your husband! I will smile all night (and not even because of the RumChata).

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  10. Can't wait to try. I love Liquor recommendations. Especially RUM! :)

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    1. YOU haven't tried this, JR?????

      WOW! I can't believe I'm ahead of in new liquor discovery!

      I totally feel like Christopher Columbus right about now.

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  11. I have to toast you, Marianne, and maybe can get this Rum Chata to do it with. I started reading your book while substitute teaching in public school yesterday. I helped me enjoy 8th graders and make it through the day. By the way, there were no plans left by the teacher and I am glad I brought something for the students to do. Otherwise I might have read to them from "Epic Mom" and that would not have been appropirate!

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    1. Thanks, Carol!

      God bless you for substitute teaching. I did that for a little over a year when I was getting my MA, and let me tell you....it wasn't easy. And I'm MEAN. Never let 'em see you sweat!

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  12. I use this as cream in my coffee! It tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk with a kick :)

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    1. OOOOH! Brewing some coffee now! Thanks for the tip!

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  13. Marianne, Seriously!!!! I don't even have words for this one. My laughter earned the attention of my children and ruined my hiding spot!!! IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.

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    1. Oh Katie. I think I'm going to write just for you. I hope you at least got a few Oreos from your secret spot in the pantry (or is that just me?).

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  14. Apparently your next book will be in the "50 Shades" genre?? OMG I laughed so hard!!! We should seriously consider having a drunk mom writers FB party one night!!!!

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  15. Can't stop laughing about the possible over-use of the word "penis" and really hope I get to read that one someday!

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  16. Hmmmm, will have to keep a look out for that over here. In the mean time. Old English Mead will do (discovered it on Holy Island, Northumberland so no guilt drinking it!)

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  17. Mix with butterscotch liquer or cinnamon whiskey. It's wicked.

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