Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Snow White Was Not the Brightest Bulb in the Marquee

Forget being a gullible Disney princess.

I strive for bad-ass.

I'm practically the Evil Queen.

With my own talking mirror:

My mirror this morning: "Marianne, Marianne on the ground, any plans for taking all this Christmas sh*t down?"

Full story here in today's Chicago Parent.

25 comments:

  1. I'm recruiting Kelly to help me yank lights from trees later today. Bleck.

    XOXO

    Megan

    P.S. Does your talking mirror ever tell you, "You're cute too?"

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    1. Can you send Kelly over when she's done??

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  2. First of all, our advent calendar is still up and will be for some time. I think a little garland on a mirror is festive year-round! You live in a house full of men, you deserve a little princessness. Now as for the poison, isn't that what all parents do? Mine did ... I do ... I am pretty sure it's in the handbook somewhere!

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    1. Thanks, Jennifer. I knew I wasn't the only one out there. And I may keep up the garland 'til June.

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  3. Oh Marianne that was hilarious. Takes me back to when I used to do the same thing to Spawn...who I'm I kidding? I still do it. Picture the scene, a pre-teen running through the living room holding a bowl of ice-cream, whilst screaming, "leave me alone woman, before I call CPS" and a mother crying, "but baby, I need to check that it hasn't been poisoned by ninja assassins!" :)

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    1. Ninja assassins!! Brilliant! It gives the whole thing that added dimension of realism. I'll be employing it tomorrow. You always have the best stuff, Lil.

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  4. OK, I might've peed my pants a little (JUST A LITTLE I SAID), and I haven't even made it over to the article yet!!!

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    1. Need some Poise pads? I have extras. I can drop them in the post tomorrow.

      Thank you, Andrea! I love being Poise-pad worthy. (:

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  5. No kidding! Snow White is totally a gutless, funless, stepford wife. No thanks!

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    1. I know, right?? Who pops into a cabin for some much-needed rest after fleeing a murderous queen and starts SWEEPING and cleaning the place up? Loser.

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  6. If there are any parents in the world who have NOT checked for poison, well those are the ones who should have CPS called on them. I mean, really....can you imagine letting your children eat poisoned sugary treats. Sugary treats are known to be poisoned, it has happened for centuries, so parents are just doing their jobs. Keep up the good work Marianne! Who knows how many ice cream licks we have all endured for the safety of our children. ;)
    GREAT story! Loved it!

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    1. We're practically Gandhi, right?? I knew you'd understand J.r. We're GIVERS.

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  7. OH, and can I just say that your Author Interview Picture over there to my left is a really gorgeous picture. You look very pretty! ;)
    Just wanted to add that to my comment!

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    1. Hang on....I'm adding you to the will....

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  8. I'm at one of those "quiet student lounges" type thingies.. called a collegium .. and I just read this one and burst into giggles... Remind me to not read this in quiet places...

    Anyways LOVED it.. wonder if by the time I have kids this will have become super normal and I won't have to get dirty looks.. totally possible..right?

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    1. We never had "collegiums." Sounds totally fancy.

      Thanks, Larissa! Hopefully by the time you're a mom, we will have ushered in a whole new era of embracing the flawed mum. It'd be nice, no?

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  9. Actually, I think it was a brillant ideas of yours! I wish I had thought of it years ago. I tell hubby "sure I'll share dessert with you; just one bite", you know the rest of that story :)

    now I want some dessert......

    blogging before dinner is not a good thing; someone else was talking about spaghetti, and now your desserts, I'm hungry :) (and dieting so extra hungry)

    betty

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    1. My husband has taken to automatically ordering two pops because he's sick of me drinking all of his. Smart man, that Joe.

      Shoot. I didn't mean to mention another sugary-concoction. Hopefully you've had dinner by now?

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  10. When we were little my mother used to take the first sip of our milkshakes to "get it up the straw" for us. She was smarter than we knew.

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    1. LOL. I did that just yesterday for Joey. Your mom is my kinda woman!

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  11. I finally got all my crap down. The problem is the stragglers...like the Christmas tree place mats that had to be washed and missed the packing up of Christmas. Then, the snowman ornament hidden under the couch. It never ends!

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    1. My tree is oficially 1/2 down. Now I'm tired and don't want to do anymore. Maybe in February?

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  12. So true, Snow White the dippy mare, even sleeping beauty isn't the brightest button in the box! Much preferring Mer in Brave, girl knows how to shoot ;-)

    And testing for poison, inspired idea....girls don't touch your desert!!!!!

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    1. I liked Mer, too! And a red head! She could be one of my people. I wonder if she drinks???

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  13. You are a hoot!!! hahaha...
    This reminded me of a post I did last year of Maximus & Kooky Chicken...if you care to read it, here's the link:
    http://hi-dho.blogspot.com/2012/06/paris-simply-irresistible-link-party.html

    Heidi

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