Mommy bloggers from Chicago aren't supposed to aim that high anyway. Drinking coffee with "The Silver Fox" was just not in the cards.
Yet when a very nice producer from the Steve Harvey show contacted me about appearing on Steve's new daytime program, I felt for sure this time, things would work out. After all, Steve Harvey is also the host of Family Feud.
I LOVE Family Feud.
I grew up watching Family Feud at my grandfather's (Papa's) knee. By the time I was nine, I was practically a Family Feud savant. I could rattle off all the top answers in seconds. Even Papa began shushing me so he could figure out the answers without my help.
Papa passed away nearly thirty years ago. I felt this was some kind of sign from the great beyond. Papa wanted me to hang out with the host of Family Feud. It was a circle-of-life thing for sure.
As dates and scheduling were sorted out, we already had gotten further than I did with Anderson's ambiguous producer, "Yeah, yeah, we'll fly you out to New York next week sometime...we'll call you." Plus, Steve Harvey tapes the show in Chicago, the city of my heart and soul.
But I got bumped. Again.
This time was different, though. Instead of a cold, heartless email from a New York producer saying something like "Please destroy this email, and should WE ever want to deal with YOU again, someone will contact you," Steve's producer CALLED. On the phone. Like they used to in the 1950s before texting.
Classy.
I told her this felt like Anderson Cooper all over again, and she was really funny and reassuring.
Whether or not I ever make it to the big Steve Harvey show remains to be seen. But the fact that there are well-mannered professionals still in media who don't treat people like expendable plastic bags warmed my heart. It gave me hope even, and pulled me right out of my full-blown seasonal affective disorder rut.
I have begun thinking about those folks who DO garner all the media attention, and I've come up with a plan.
I'm going to admit to doping while blogging.
The story has legs, no?
Hmmm....you may be on to something!!! Run with it.
ReplyDeletePutting together my talking points now!
DeletePlease, please, please, when you make it to the big time, lie about everything. And pretend to be drunk. Anderson will rue the day he bumped you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kelly! But why would I have to pretend?? (;
DeleteHa! Back when that guy got slayed by Oprah (also in Chicago, so you have some hope there), I thought I might write a fictional memoir. I could make up some really juicy stuff. Then Oprah could slay me, too.
ReplyDeleteOprah was so mean to that Million Little Pieces guy, but I think he went on to sell a trillion more books. On it, Kirby!
DeleteCOME SLAY ME OPRAH!!
Sorry you got bumped, but it definitely makes for a good story to tell. I doubt it will be long before some talk show host or news program scoops you up for an appearance or interview and they won't be sorry. Then everyone will want a piece of you. Glad this bump was a better experience than last time. Maybe you could try having a fake online affair with some on Twitter? Joe wouldn't mind, right?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kathy! Can I have a fake online affair with that Thor movie guy? Yum-MEEE!!
DeleteGood Lord woman, you are famous!
ReplyDeleteWhen I see you at Blogher this summer, will you sign a copy of your book for me?
Oh and I voted for your blog over at Circle of Moms last night.
So you got that goin' for you......
I will sign your foot if you wanted me to!
DeleteThanks for the vote & can't wait to hang with you at BlogHer! Make sure to bring plenty of inappropriate t-shirts. I think that's going to be my wardrobe's theme for the event!
So, no reality show? dang!
ReplyDeleteYou should make 'BlogStrong' bracelets. I'll buy one, and then I'll swear that you were always clean!
BlogStrong bracelets!! Why didn't I think of that?? Genius!
DeleteAppreciate the character reference!
I seriously like that idea . . . blogging on steroids. Then, if you get bumped again, you can bump back - - hard.
ReplyDeleteHa! And I'm already super-strong to begin with. I might end up in jail, but you'll visit me, right Judy? Bring brownies.
DeleteHow dare they bump you! Do THEY realize WHO they're dealing with? No Kelly is right on. In order for the media to want to interview you, you can't be a normal person, nope. You have to either cheat on taxes, be married to a guy with 10 wives and 30 children,be totally irresponsible in giving birth to 9 children when you have 8 already....you get the picture. Or how bout tell the whole country a lie then say it wasn't your fault when you get caught. Do any of these things and the media will be beating down your door.
ReplyDeleteMBF
This is a perfect how-to primer, MBF. Writing it all down now....
DeleteHold on: There's an Ali comment coming...wait for it.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't aware Steve Harvey even had a show. Does that make you feel better? Probably not, huh?
Ha - thanks, Ali.
DeleteIt's a new show (started in September), but I'm going to continue to love Steve Harvey as long as he hosts "The Feud." I can't help it. It's in my blood.
You listening, Steve???? Cawl me!
Well they do say that the third time's the charm...just don't ask me who 'they' are.
ReplyDeleteWhen you get your moment on TV and I'm pretty darn convinced that you will, all this will just make that time all the more sweeter.
"Mommy bloggers from Chicago aren't supposed to aim that high anyway". Pah! Reach for the sky Marianne, because you're not just a mommy blogger, you're one of the best! :)
Aw, Lily. You always make me feel even taller than I already am. Thank you!
DeleteI'm hoping the 3rd time is with a fantastic talkshow in the UK...we'll hit the pubs!
Would some Rumchata cupcakes make you feel better?
ReplyDeleteWhy yes. Yes they would.
DeleteBut wait...aren't you one of those crazy fundraising/volunteer moms who makes things for the bake sales and volunteers for field trips?
Ah...not matter. You're still aces in my book.
I'm so sorry you got bumped again (but by a different person this time). Maybe the third time you won't and it will work like a charm? I do know someone who works for Oprah (seriously I do).
ReplyDeletebetty
Thanks, Betty! I'm thinking my new marketing plan is to list all the shows who cancel me. It can be an ongoing gag thing like Jimmy Kimmel/Matt Damon, no?
DeleteYou really know someone who works for Oprah? Why have you not written a behind the curtain, "The REAL Oprah," kinda book yet??? You could blow Kitty Kelly out of the water!
Forget all of them and go straight to Ellen's show.
ReplyDeleteShe'd get drunk with you anyday...and send out some weirdo to scare the crap out of you while you are being chatted up. I love when she scares people.
CAWL her, Ellen!
You hear that, Ellen???? Listen to Tina! She knows her sh*t!!!
DeleteYou are so funny and those tv shows just don't know what they missed out on. I have no doubt you will eventually get to make your debut!
ReplyDeleteThanks, KAT! Here's hoping!
DeleteReality show, perhaps. You need an agent.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I said!
DeleteThe agent I went to, oddly enough, disagreed.
Bah. Fools. It will come, my friend! It's inevitable!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Stephanie! Maybe the universe is just trying to give me time to clear up my decade long, post-adolescent acne??
DeleteTheir loss for bumping you. Maybe I should start boycotting Family Feud (Steve Harvey) in support of you. Lately Maximus and I have been watching that show....and growing up I too loved it.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, Steve Harvey is a RIOT on Family Feud. You can't boycott that! Plus, his producer was super-nice, and I believed her when she said she'd call back.
DeleteNow if 2 years go by & nothing? Meh. I'll still be watching The Feud. It's not like I have any real principles.
Since you were bumped from Anderson Cooper and the other guy from Family Feud...how about we get you an interview with Louie Anderson? His last name is Anderson and he did host Family Feud years ago. He seems like an obnoxious New Yorker too! On Feb 9th he will be in Michigan City, Indiana for a show. Go get him! Go get him now!
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