The Return of the Prodigal Parade

Today represents the culmination of a 2 year battle to bring back the famed St. Patrick's Day Parade to the southside of Chicago.  Kegs have been ordered.  Soda bread is warming. Irish sweaters are laid out for all red-headed children named Colin or Killian or Brigid.  Bag pipers and firemen from all around the country are descending on the area now to rejoice in the wonderful history of Irish culture.

My awesome crocheted leprechaun hats purchased though this lady were picked up yesterday.

Still, tensions remain very high.

While many neighbors are ready to slaughter the fatted calf (and turn it into some tasty corned beef) to mark the return of the Prodigal Parade, others are not so happy.  They too are preparing for this day.  They have charged their cameras and cell phones.  They have staked out the perimeter.  They lay in wait to record all over-served bladders who think dropping trou in a local backyard or alley is a good idea.  The authorities will be notified.  Instant justice will be doled out.  You-Tube humiliation awaits anyone who embarrasses the spirit of the parade.

I completely appreciate both sides of the issue.  I love the parade.  I love the backyard parties of friends who welcome anyone who has ever worn a public servant's uniform.  I love the gazillions of little freckled-faced children who arrive in wagons and strollers.  I love the fact that this year will be dedicated to Cpl. Conner Lowry, and Conner's own mother will be cutting the ribbon just a day after her son's funeral.  Tradition means a lot around here.   

I dislike the sloppy displays of drunkenness which often border on dangerous.  Chartered buses arrive by the dozens to drop off parade revelers.  Thankfully, the vast majority are very respectful of the neighborhood and its people.   

Yet it only takes a few bad apples to ruin it for everyone.  In 2009 (the last year of the parade), 54 people were arrested and the number of violent attacks on police officers was unacceptable.

After a two-year hiatus, the parade is back.  Private security firms have been hired.  A zero-tolerance policy regarding open alcohol and violence is being employed.  For handy reference, here is my guide in case anyone is confused about proper parade etiquette:

• Do not pee on someone's Little Tykes playhouse
• Do not do naughty things with members of the opposite sex (or same sex for that matter) inside someone's Little Tykes playhouse
• Do not wander drunkenly into the backyard of anyone with a Little Tykes playhouse
• If you see a Little Tykes playhouse, assume the owner is a policeman with a gun, a video camera, and handcuffs

At the end of the day, neighbors love a good party as much as anyone.  They just want their kids to have a good time and not witness the brawls, vomiting, sex, and pee that unfortunately have come to define the parade for some.

So here's to a great day and return to civility. 

Erin go Bragh!

My Little People vision of the parade.  They are anatomically unable to pee.  Perfect.