Monday, March 26, 2012


My Joey spends most of his life within 3 inches of me.  This would really not be that big of a deal if Joey was a quiet kid.  Instead, Joey is a talker.  Whatever pops into his head is instantly repeated aloud.  He is extremely affectionate and adoring of his mother, but the non-stop prattle has gotten on my last nerve. 

Joey as Steve Jobs this past Halloween
Imagine if you will, this diatribe while you are trying to pay bills:

Mommy.  I like Miss Bea.  But Miss Bea is at another school now.  I still have Miss Rose and Miss Cape (Miss Kate), but I don't have Miss Bea anymore.  Miss Bea was beautiful.  You're adorable, mommy.  You are my best friend.  I love Mickey Mouse.  Mickey Mouse is my best friend too, Mommy.  Are we going for a bike ride today?  I like my bike from Uncle John.  It's Joey's bike.  It's not Danny or Jack's bike.  I'm going to keep it forever.  I am 4 now.  I will turn 5 and have a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.  After that, I am not growing up any more.  I don't want to be a daddy.  Can I have some juice, Mommy?  Why don't I never get candy?  I like candy.  I can open the little pieces, but I can't open the big pieces.  The Easter Bunny is going to  bring us candy, right Mommy?  Will you help me open my Easter Bunny candy?  How many more days until Easter?  Is it tomorrow, Mommy?  I don't have school for a long time because Miss Cape (Kate) said we are on vacation.  I like vacation.  Do you like vacation, Mommy?

If you got through until the end, perhaps you noted that Joey is on Spring Break.  For two weeks.  My four-year-old chatterbox is going to be talking to me constantly for 14 straight days.  I've tried to explain that God only gives us a million words each to speak in a lifetime, and that he might want to start conserving his utterances.  Joey's response was to whisper.  Loudly.  He figures God won't deduct whispering from his total.

If my blog turns into a random stream of consciousness over the next couple of weeks, I trust you will understand.  It's all Joey.

He is available for playdates so long as the inviting mom has a strong tolerance for babbling.  Anyone?  Anyone??

Yeah, that's what I thought.  And that's probably the only deafening silence I will be experiencing for 14 long days.


  1. Have you never met my Megan? Why don't we just get them together for a non-stop talk session?

  2. I believe they have drugs for that. Not him, you. Or is that what vodka is for?

  3. Over talkers!! What fun they are, huh?!

    Has your Joey figured out yet when you are only pretending to pay attention. For a while you are able to get away with the
    "Mmm Hmms" and the "wow, cool"

    But then they start calling you out.

    "Mama, are you wistening?"
    "Mama, you just keep saying Mmm Hmm. You not listening Mama" - insert toddler sad face.

    Good luck on your Spring Break Marianne. While the rest of the world is partying it up in Daytona, or wherever Spring Breakers go. Us moms are having our own kind of party. PITY PARTY! My kids spring breaks are all different weeks. # schools, 3 different weeks. HELP ME!
    Cheers ;)

  4. And this is why God invented valium!
    I am most sympathetic to your plight. Everyday I almost trip over the lil man as he ignores any concept of personal space.

    We made a deal last week that for every hour he is silent, he gets £ far he's earned £ 7 days!!!!

  5. Geez.. I just had Beege home for a week. She's the same way - just about drove me insane. I'll take him for a day, if you can get him up to Canada. And it would be pretty character building for him, because we're pretty stocked up with pink and purple stuff.

  6. If only we didn't live, like, a thousand miles apart! My Noah is five and he sounds so much like Joey, except Noah likes questions- A LOT. Good luck on spring break.

  7. Come over tomorrow!


  8. I'll take him. What's one more chatterbox in this house?

  9. Hahahaha great post.
    I wish it were true about the million words thing, my husband would have used up his quota in one week.
    I spent 10 days in a meditation retreat once with about fifty people.
    No talking allowed, no eye contact, no writing, no touching. Maybe you could teach him to meditate.