Friday, December 27, 2013

My Life as a Fat and Slightly Disfigured Penguin

Jack loves penguins.  I think he loves them because I love them.  Whenever we go to the zoo, they are the only animals I insist we visit.  I appreciate the fact that they don't stink.  And they also dress well.

While I am definitely not an animal person, penguins make me happy.  They seem like they might have a good sense of humor.  No animal that walks like a penguin can take itself too seriously.  So when Jack asked what I wanted for Christmas, I answered honestly:

I'd like a pet penguin.

My son delivered:


Concerned that my new penguin friend might be lonely living amongst humans, Jack also provided some friendly companions:



I was thrilled and made a big deal of the gift.

But when my youngest son Joey saw my reaction, he quickly disappeared into "his office" with a bottle of Elmer's Glue and a determined gait.

He reappeared hours later and presented me with this:

 
I assumed it was merely another cherished penguin buddy.
 
But I was corrected.
 
"No, mommy.  It's not a penguin.  I made YOU."
 
Considering that I have a bit of a waddle, I'm choosing to take this as a compliment.
 
My only other option would be to put down these awesome Christmas cookies and re-think my growing penguin belly.
 
NAH.
 
 

24 comments:

  1. Love the pictures created by your sons.

    What?! You waddle? I know you can't be pregnant because I read your book. When you become a senior, you hobble and get attention with a cane, a footed cane thingy or a walker. I have one of those hobblers in the house, but never pictured you waddling.

    Happy New Year!

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    1. I am SUCH a wobbler. I think it adds to my charm. ;)

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  2. I need a little kid. Can I have one of yours?

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    1. SHIPPED. Let me know if you want the tracking number.

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  3. As long as you're not the Grim Reaper Penguin. And look...the kid made YOU and not "the dad." You're steppin' up girl... :)

    xoxo
    -andi

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    1. Baby steps. Or rather...baby wobbles.

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  4. There are worse animals he could have turned you into.

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  5. I am with Shannon.
    He could have made you into an ass.
    And that would have ruined Christmas.
    Penguins are my favorite too but they do smell like fish.
    And not the good shrimp scampi kind.

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    Replies
    1. mmmm....scampi. With butter & garlic.

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  6. My favorite parts are the eyes and eyebrows. Are those accurate, Mar? Because if they are, you may want to lay off the booze while plucking and waxing girlfriend.
    I love that little Joey.

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    Replies
    1. He is fun. And I do need a wax. Like bad.

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  7. See Jack does love you! He made a great gift straight from his heart knowing how much you love penguins! (side note here, son loves penguins too; he seriously wanted a life one for Chrismtas one year :)

    Too cute with Joey. I think he represented you well though because he gave you wide open arms (for plenty of hugs :)

    Happy New Year!

    betty

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    Replies
    1. I love how you always find the positive, Betty! Thank you!

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  8. I thought maybe that was a flowing black mane of stylish hair with just your tiny face and body floating.

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  9. I never realized just how much you resemble my grade three teacher Sister Alma...

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    Replies
    1. It always comes back to the nuns. And my Aunt Marianne (Sister John Sean).

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  10. Adorable! You are beautiful! :)

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  11. I love penguins too! Have you seen March of the Penguins? It will make you cry. Such beautiful birds. That last penguin is the best. You have to be flattered. :-)

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    Replies
    1. I am DYING to see it! One day! When all these people leave me alone for 5 minutes....

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