Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Something Old, Something New

You know it's Chicago Parent Wednesday, right?  Go ahead and click over for my latest ramblings on what a colossal idiot I was for selecting white carpet with kids. 

And now for a little rant.

I have a history of not being able to enjoy anything new.  It comes partly from being the 3rd born child.  It comes partly from bad luck.  A brief history:
  • I babysat for 3 months straight to buy an outfit I saw at the mall when I was 15.  When I finally got it, my sister promptly loaned it to her best friend who stained it and returned it 3 years later.
  • When I was living in NY, I loaned my boyfriend (now-husband) my first new car while I headed to work.  My last words to him before I left were, "I've never had anything new, please don't wreck my ride."  He got into a fender-bender exactly 16 minutes later.
  • My first son was born with a pneumothorax.  Because I was recovering from a bad c-section, I wasn't allowed to get up and go see him for half a day.  In the meantime, my husband, parents, and siblings all got to hold him, look at him, and break him in.  I didn't even get first dibs on my own kid.
I completely understand people being funny about their new things.  I wash my hands when I hold someone's new baby.  I don't drink coffee in someone's new car.  I don't bring my kids over to someone's brand new house.

I opted for the color of poop. Read about it on Chicago Parent.
So why are so many people giving me grief about asking them take off their shoes so I can enjoy my carpet before the first Gatorade spill?  I've gotten eye rolls and even a person storming out.  I don't get new things (see my multiple blog entries on all my purchases at second-hand stores).  I've always been gracious and allowed people to stomp through my house tracking Chicago mud and ice everywhere.  I don't scream when parents let their kids get up from the table full of cake and make a run for my couch with chocolate-frosted digits.  I hardly blink over the usual messes that visitors and their children typically leave.

So can I please just have a little honeymoon with my new rug?  It will be stained and destroyed shortly, at which time you can wear whatever dirty wet shoes you'd like.

I'll even get you some house slippers if you want.  Just email me your size.


  1. I don't blame you one bit!!! I actually DO have a gatorade stain (red) on my wool area rug. I don't EVER get anything good. I bought some concealer a few weeks ago. One of those ones that you have to twist and the stuff comes up through the middle of the brush-like thing. I had it all of 15 minutes before my daughter picked it up and twisted it 90% and all the stuff spewed out into the cap. So now I'm sticking q-tips in the cap to use it up because I'm too cheap to just throw it away.

    P.S. You can turn off the word verification. I never get spammed and I don't have it. You get more comments with it off. Trust me.

  2. The Japanese have it figured out, leave your dirty nasty bottomed but pretty on top shoes at the door!

    When we got our latest, new to us, house I knew the carpet was too light colored. It didn't help that the appliance delivery boys, not men, tracked asphalt onto the carpet forever ruining it in the first month.

    At least I have a Dyson El Supremo vac cleaner keeps it the best it can possibly be, Model DC-25, The "Animal" - that is the real moniker the company slapped on it!

  3. I hope you get to have a LONG beautiful honeymoon with your carpet. Why is it such a big deal for people to take of their shoes? Maybe their feet smell or they have athletes foot.

  4. I think it might have something to do with 'middle child syndrome.' Because you always get the hand-me downs from the two siblings before, or at least that's how it is for me.

    Anything new that I buy is first worshipped at the altar of, "don't touch it, don't sit on it, dont even look at it!" Which lasts for about 5 minutes when you have a child.

    Read yor article about said carpet. VERY funny!

  5. I know the feeling quite well. Recently, I just purchased a used, but very clean Mercury Grand Marquis. All Black, with lots of chrome. Very wife can't figure out if people are giving us breaks in traffic because they think we're the mob or police. So the other day,as I was gazing at it in the garage,(men tend to gaze at our new prizes,i.e. big screen TV's,guns, grills, boats, it's a guy thing)I innocently grabbed some pvc tubing from the rafter and I lost my grip on it. In what seemed like slow motion the tubing, yep, (murphy's law)tumbled onto the floor, teasing me, as if it was going to harmlessly just fall. No, it changed direction and pow, smacked the front left fender. Yep,,it's now officially dented, though small,I can almost hear my car saying, "nice going idiot".

  6. Ali - I feel for you. Expensive make-up down the drain would have destroyed my day. And NOTHING takes out Gatorade. I got to get my husband to stop buying the stuff. Oh and thanks for the verification tip, I just changed the settings. Let's see what happens!

    esbboston - I wished you lived closer. I'd be borrowing that thing regularly.

    Anastasia - I don't get it. My husband said not to make a big deal of it, but the person turned around and left. It kind of hurt my feelings. Of course, I'm a tad sensitive to begin with, so perhaps I should blow it off?

    Lily - thanks & being the middle child has shaped me in soo many ways. Right now, the kids are being good about the no-eating and no-shoes rule, but my husband is refusing to cooperate. Something about his paying for it...I'm not sure, he was muttering.

    Maplewood - OH NOOOO. That is horrible. Try to think of the Persian Rug thing - each rug is created with a tiny flaw so as not to attract the attention of the gods who would smite any attempt at perfection. No worries now.

  7. Oh hell Mama, you've earned the right to enjoy something new! Have a wonderful and, hopefully long, honeymoon!

    I'm thinking Mr Or Mrs Storms Out doesn't get an invite anymore. I have no doubt you were polite about asking them to take their shoesers off and it seems rude to just stomp out like that. I mean, as moms, don't we have enough tantrum-throwers in our lives? :)

  8. What is wrong with these people? I love getting to take my shoes off at other people's houses, probably because it's nearly impossible to find shoes that fit me, so all my shoes are uncomfortable. Plus, it makes my collection of kooky socks seem like a much better investment.

    In conclusion, these people are just jealous of your beautiful carpet. Their loss for not getting to experience it!

  9. Marianne, this essay paired with the Chicago Parent one about your choice of carpeting, is just about your best one yet. Yep--you're me. Except I don't do white carpet. Noooooooo. That would be dumb. I do white LINEN chairs! Yes! So smart! (and I have a cat! and two sons! yay me!)


  10. Erica - Thanks! My husband asked and was pretty nice, but I'm told not to take it personally and that this is just how this person rolls.

    Haley - You nailed it. And why even buy cute socks if you never get to take your shoes off? You might was well wear Wonder Bread Bags on your feet then.

    MOV - oh no. White Linen chairs? You're going to have to take some pics and share with the world how poorly those suckers have held up. Thanks for the thumb's up!

  11. I already have to "share" my Dyson with the janitorial lady who does our retail store, so we are definitely getting our money's worth with the device. It has certainly outlasted the three vacuum cleaners that all the cat hair in our retail store killed, yes, we lost three vacuums in about three months, I think those figures are correct. Plus the Dyson is so much quieter that my dog doesn't have to go outside when I vacuum. And it is lighter weight and compact, I can easily load it in and out of my pickup, and carry with just one hand.

  12. Maybe the person misunderstood and thought you requested that they remove their feet........ehhhh, was he or she drinking?

  13. Maybe it just seems weird to me for someone to react that way because carpet is a sacred thing where I am from. Everyone takes their shoes off no matter if the carpet is new or old. Some families have boxes of those paper booties to put over your shoes before you even cross the threshold.

  14. esbboston - I've heard good things about Dysons. Perhaps I convince my husband to get me one for my birthday?

    SF - You may be on to something.

    Anastasia - Where do you live?? I'm moving.

  15. Utah...Not exactly the most fun place to move to. Maybe you can start a carpet revolution in Chicago so you don't have to move somewhere dull.

  16. I live in Alaska, and it is a given that you take your shoes off before you enter someone's house. Doesn't matter what season, it is just what you do. I always make sure I have nice socks, no holes!

  17. Maureen - Yay, Alaska! Could you please send Chicago the memo? Thank you!