Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Have Minivan, Will Travel

Given my thrift shop habit and affinity for the clearance rack, it should probably come as no surprise that we opted to drive to Florida for our vacation.  My frequent flyer miles expired years ago, and I have always believed that a nice long road trip is good for children. It teaches kids an important lesson in patience.  And bladder control.

I happily packed a host of items to occupy the boys during the long drive. My stash included:
  • Jack's violin
  • Dan's multiplication cards
  • Joey's Dick & Jane books
  • Educational reading material on U.S. geography and presidential history
Unfortunately, my husband took one look at my box of travel diversions and lumped everything. He reminded me that Jack was not that good at the violin yet, and I if I expected him to drive then I would have to leave the violin behind. He also charged the kids' Nintendo DS games (bought on sale at Target for $99 over Christmas only because they came with a $10 Target gift card). My plans for a cerebral vacation went down the drain along with the gallon of milk we dumped before departing.

I still feel the violin would have been nice.

Once we were on the road, my husband began talking excitedly about the route he had planned that would take us through Tucker, Georgia for a restaurant he had seen on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Matthew's Cafeteria was on Joe's brain and the thought of a southern breakfast the next morning kept him in grand spirits with only limited episodes of road rage. Everything was going along swimmingly.

We pulled up to the Holiday Inn in Tucker, Georgia where Joe and I tag-teamed the night manager to get our room rate reduced by 40% before we even checked in. As I tucked in all my boys with visions of biscuits and gravy dancing in their heads, I couldn't help but think life was great.

Perhaps I should have packed pajamas?

And that's when I knew disaster was right around the corner.  Because nothing ever goes smoothly when yours truly is involved.  I am Bobby Brady's Hawaiian tiki and King Tut's curse wrapped up in one.  Where I go, affliction and blight follow. 

I warned no one.  One last good night's sleep was the least I could do.

They would all need their rest for the great storm ahead.

....to be continued.......


  1. ummm...correctly if I'm wrong,but, umm...I'm assuming the picture of the kids in the van was taken while the van was in motion...if so, I don't see anyone in the driver's seat. Or because you won the Mega millions game, you can afford a self driven vehicle? Also where's Aunt Edna?

  2. Maplewood - it's a minivan! They're all sitting in the back row with the middle row empty. No self-propelling minivans over here. Though if there was such a thing, then I would totally have packed the violin.

  3. ok, I stand corrected...a mini van, lol. I remember those. It's the only vehicle really that makes sense to have with kids. Actually I went one step further one year and gave ours to our 16 yr. old who proceeded to wreck it and bought a 16 passenger Ford Van....heavy duty I might add. With that, I pulled a 30 ft. trailer,packed everything I owned, 3 dogs and had 5 screaming pre-teen girls who really went nuts laughting when, while stuck in traffic in Ind. the guy next to us girlfriend was topless. Of course I didn't look, eh em, but the girls found it hysterical as well as the truck drivers. Seriously, you get maybe 12 miles to the gallon with these monsters, but there is tons of room.

  4. You didnt let your kids obey the carseat there? At four - no more booster!! Come on... let them live on the edge some!

  5. What?!? You're making me wait to find out what happened. Mean.
    (As soon as I read 'Dick and Jane books' an image of said books popped into my mind. I remember those books fondly.)

  6. You are hard core...no clearance car DVD player like we have? Ouch!

  7. That first picture is priceless. This is shaping up to be a great story!

  8. I have to agree with your husband about the violin. I once had to ride for 90 minutes with a friend who let her daughter play the recorder very, very badly for most of the ride. I actually opened the door and exited the vehicle at a stop light. Walking home seemed a better alternative! I am looking forward to reading what happens next. I shared the back seat with my sister for many family vacations and recall all too well the "stop touching me" torture events and the "she's looking at me again" complaints.

  9. Robyn - Four? Jack is almost 7 and still in a booster! xoxo Crazy Mom

    Jewels - I'll be sure to take some pics and do an upcoming post on them just for you!!

    Andrea - We did buy one! That's why they're all jammed in the back, watching a video. (:

    Kelly - Yup, I definitely think we can eliminate childhood modeling from the mix, right?

    Itsadomelife - The recorder??? I would have jumped out of a moving car. "Stop Touching" arguments are the worst (and my sister always crossed the invisible line from her side, totally not my fault).

  10. Yes.. FOUR!! It's Florida, Everything's a little "different" there!

  11. I laughed out loud at the picture of your boys sleeping. Awesome!

  12. Anonymous Robyn - That's insane!

    Stephanie - My kids only take goofy awkard photos. It's our specialty.

    Julie - You ask, I deliver!