Monday, April 9, 2012

Packing My Own Shark Bait (aka "The Kids")

Most people plan their vacations well in advance.  They research airfares.  They look into nearby attractions.  They put months of investigation and effort into the rare getaway from carpool, work, and the daily grind of life.

Not me.

Being a fatalist, I resist putting a lot of man hours into something I am convinced will be cancelled due to sickness or minivan breakdown.  So when Joe suggested we go somewhere over Spring break, I hesitated doing any online research and instead waited for him to tell me he couldn't get the appropriate day trades from the guys at the firehouse.

Imagine my surprise when two weeks before break Joe announced he had negotiated the required trades. I frantically scrambled to find a place to stay.  All of our affordable choices in St. Augustine and Orlando were booked.  Condos and townhouses within our price range had been secured by savvy travelers months in advance.  My choices were nil.

Until I discovered New Smyrna Beach. 

For some odd reason, I had my pick of townhouses and condos for rental.  They were minutes from the beach!  I gladly sent in my deposit and announced to the family that I had performed my usual miracle for the week and locked in a place mere seconds from the tides.

That was when I got a call from Joe.  He was out with the boys and had heard on the radio that there had been a shark attack at New Smyrna Beach that week.  Two actually.  A man and a woman had both been bitten by sharks within 15 minutes of each other in waist-deep water.

The news story reported that New Smyrna Beach was the Shark Bite Capital of the World.


As I processed this information and the implications for family safety, my husband had only one thing to add:

Whatever you do, just don't tell your mother.

As if.


  1. You need to read my blog more. Just the other day, Jim the RV guys told everyone, "Never,Never, Ever swim at New Smyrna Beach,the Shark Bite Capital of the World."

    Seriously, someone once told me and after thinking about it I agreed, the ocean was not meant to swim in, that's why pools were invented. God knows what lurks under the ocean water.

  2. Yeah, but what great stories you'll have to tell. "Then this shark came out of nowhere..."

  3. He can't go down with three barrels...not with three barrels on he can't.

  4. Meh, why worry? They make spearguns for a reason, don't they? At least you won't have to fight the crowds for a decent place to sunbathe.

  5. Knee deep water though, that seems safe. What were those other people thinking?

  6. I will never, ever forget reading Jaws on spring break at the beach. Sharks can suck it- I'm staying in the pool!

  7. Oh no! This is funny. And also sad. But mostly funny.

  8. Maplewood - a little shark bite never killed anyone, right? But I think we're going to need a bigger boat.

    Jewels - it's all about the story!

    A Beer for the Shower - The beach was practically empty - so worth the possible shark attack.

    Andrea - Ha! They were actually surfers. Reason #105 not to surf.

    Tina - I pushed the pool, but my husband wouldn't go for it.

    Stephanie - Story of my life...

  9. My friend had decided to tell me about Floridas crime rate right before we left. I'm like, where is there NOT crime. Save the shark and crime stories until after we get back. Ha Ha

    We stayed in Orlando last summer for 4 days, then St. Augustine for 2, then my in-laws in Jacksonville for a bit.

    We, thank goodness, had planned in advance. Kinda had to, with needing to buy tickets for 6 of us from California to Florida. But even with the advance planning, Orlando was a hard one. I feel ya!

  10. J.R. - Damn wet-blanket people always ruining the fun. Sorry - I'm one of them. Will work on it. I've heard great things about St. Augustine - NEXT time!!