Friday, September 30, 2011

The Non-Negotiables

I never thought of myself as a particularly rigid or principled person.  On politics, I can swing right or left depending on the issue.  Judaism seems just as good a religion to me as Catholicism.  I like both the Chicago White Sox and the Cubs. 

When you take a look at the big picture, I suppose I appear rather wishy-washy.  Middle-of-the-road.  Spineless even.  A rebel without a cause.

Not so fast.

I've put together a handy list of things I stand firm on. Non-negotiable aspects of my life. Things that torture or bribery couldn't alter.   So without further ado, here are just a few of the big ones that define who I am as a person:
  
  • I will never participate in a water birth.
  • I will never judge or blame another mother for spanking her child in the mall parking lot.
  • I will never ask my family to purchase over-priced wrapping paper for a school fundraiser.
  • I will have done my job properly when my adult sons stand up when a lady enters a room instead of waving from the couch.
  • Thank you notes are mandatory.
  • I believe instant oatmeal counts as cooking.
  • I think having a couple really good friends is more important than having 2,000 Facebook Friends.
  • I think it's perfectly acceptable to walk away from people who drain you.  Or who don't send thank you notes.
  • I can be draining, and I sometimes forget the thank you notes.
  • The key to marriage is a partner who remembers the good, forgets the bad, and thinks you're still decent looking after 3 kids with a stomach that resembles Hiroshima.

I had some foggy notion about the Alamo as a methaphor for marriage, but my cold medicine kicked in.  I'll leave the analogies to you then.

So there you have it.  What are your non-negotiables? 

9 comments:

  1. uh oh, I owe you a thank you note!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Healthy TransformationSeptember 30, 2011 at 8:20 AM

    The thank yous are coming! I swear it!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Funny guys...it's more about insisting my boys write them or when I drop big checks to people who consistently don't send a single word back. My not getting a thank you note for a $10 Target toy is nothing. If I donate a liver, I will be waiting, though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You like the Cubs?!!! You are officially disowned!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You mean you won't hold my hand while I give birth to my 3rd in a pool in the front room? Some friend you are!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I will never. ever. wear "jeggings".

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mary - Sorry - it's how I was raised.

    Anonymous - You and your plastic kiddie pool are on your own.

    Skwishee - how did I forget that one???

    ReplyDelete
  8. I, too, will not ask friends or family to buy overpriced wrapping paper. But I will buy it myself, against my better judgement. Argh.

    ReplyDelete
  9. No Way - I'll stage an intervention. It's evil what they charge for wrapping paper. Unholy even.

    ReplyDelete