Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Coming Soon to Chicagoparent.com!

Sweet Jesus.   I really didn't think this would work, but the lovely new Digital Content Editor at chicagoparent.com, Carrie Kaufman, emailed me back about writing a blog for chicagoparent.com. In my mind, I had already anticipated the rejection letter:

Dear Marianne,

After careful consideration of your current blog and writing style, Chicagoparent.com has decided that you really need professional help.  You swear an awful lot.  Your husband sounds angry.  And we're not sure we really want to promote mothers who drink Mike's Hard Lemonade on a regular basis.  We can't figure out if you're serious or kidding, and that kind of ambiguity makes people uncomfortable.  You make people uncomfortable.  Please seek some guidance immediately and don't ever bother us again.  Your name has been given to security.

Kindest regards,
Carrie Kaufman

You can imagine my surprise when Carrie actually emailed me about starting a blog over there.  I flipped out.  When can I start? she asked.  Sh*t!

I'm taking my half-blind mom in for her second eye surgery tomorrow morning.  Before that, I've got to deposit my children at 3 different homes to be kept in a holding pattern until they have to start school.  Doctor-Friend and her family are also coming in this weekend and my house is a disaster.  Food choices are limited to frozen pizza and left-over hush puppies...and my friends are foodies:

I figure if I dress the hush puppies up for the evening, my friends won't notice that they're actually just re-heats of leftovers.  Or that there are only 5.

So here's where I once again need help from my half-dozen followers (minus one because mom won't be reading anything for about a week):  I need a name!  A new blog name for chicagoparent.com only.  Something that will entice all of Chicago to tune in.  Something about the southside?  Drinking?  Virgins?  Southside drinking virgins?  Come on, gang - think!

As a side note, how much swearing and sacrilege do you think they'll let me get away with over there?  Not too much, right? 

Yeah.  That's what I thought.


  1. Congratulations! No ideas for a name at the moment, but if I think of anything, I'll let you know :)

  2. I think you have a winner with either southside drinking virgins OR simply swearing and sacrilege

  3. Congratulations Marianne!
    That is so awesome-
    Don't forget us little people when you become mayor of chicago
    As for a new blog name, what about "Chicago parents don't know shit" or
    "Chicago parents-suck it, fools"
    I'll try to think of some more for you

  4. here are a few:

    1. southside mama
    2. ChiTown Burb Blogger (or BurbsBlog)
    3. Down & Out in Beverly (my personal favorite as it references an 80s movie)

  5. I have been reading your posts for a while now, they are hilarious. If I may here are some blog titles for ChicagoParent.com :

    Helmets are Cheaper Than Therapy
    Disgruntled Parenting
    Blogging to Afford Valium
    Bad Advice, Excellent Presentation Parenting Blog
    I quit smoking and drinking for 9 months for this?
    What I Do Inbetween Girl's Night Out
    Red Wine, My Kids, and other things that stain carpets

    I really do love your blog and I hope some my titles at least gave you a chuckle!

  6. I'm not Kate and I don't have 8? LOL

    Congratulations on getting the gig! You absolutely deserve it!! I hope you get some good stuff out of the deal too!

  7. Boiled Beans, that's a Dil-enema! Duck the snotty Pitches!

  8. These are all hilarious! LOVE them!!! Thank you so much, everyone!!!

  9. I had just been telling Brett that it has been so long since we had hush puppies with umbrellas! How exciting! BTW, I hope my plague is better before we invade and infect you house. I've three more days to get healthy. I'll just call Rada's mom for some euthanasia!

  10. Steph - I'm so happy you're game for the hushpuppies! I think we're down to only 2 left though, so hurry! And no getting sick!

  11. Marianne...that is awesome!!! Sorry I am a little late. I have a few days to catch up on.