Monday, September 19, 2011

As Seen on TV

An outdoor movie.  A church carnival.  A Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.  You'd think this weekend would rate near-perfection to thrill-seeking little boys.  Yet the incessant complaining and squabbling left me re-thinking all my planning. Was I raising a brood of entitled little first class passengers who thought of me only as Julie, their ship's cruise director? And if this was the case, where the hell was Isaac?  I needed a drink.

In the midst of all the "fun," we headed to Orland Park Mall to pick up new jeans and gym pants for Daniel who insists on growing an inch a week.  His sensory issues resulted in an hour of whining and crying because he had to try on pants with the tags still on

These are soooo itchy.

I think I need a Band-Aid.

Am I bleeding here?

C'mon, Mom.  Can't you take the tags off NOW? 

I was so annoyed and stressed that I took all my anxiety out on the Lancome make-up counter.  I frantically  loaded up on needless creams and magical potions meant to restore my lost youth.  There were free gifts!  My eye puffiness could be cured!  Oooh....wrinkle removers!  I bought eyeliner that cost more than my first car:

All this, and people would still tell me I look tired.

I realize now these were stupid and impulsive purchases meant to dull my ache for a single word of kindness or appreciation from the 7 & under crowd.  I will have to return them all this week.

There was one purchase, though, that will not be going back. I also stopped by the As Seen on T.V. store and bought the Ped Egg.  After a summer of going barefoot and wearing flimsy flip-flops, the callouses and cracked skin on my feet were out of control.  I had already tried expensive creams and pumice stones to tame the problem, but nothing had worked. 

I was in a sad and hopeless state on Sunday evening - feeling that all my mothering work was for naught and I was raising children that would think nothing of sticking me in a home. Yet after 10 minutes alone with my Ped Egg, my mood lifted.  Gone were the callouses and dry patches.  They were now relegated to a neat little pile of powdered foot.   Pink and healthy skin was restored. It was amazing.

It's like taking a cheese-grater to your foot.

So for the bargain basement price of $9.99, I headed to bed happy, callous-free, and committed to never ever doing anything fun with my children again.  Unless it involves the Ped Egg.


  1. Mar, Try this stuff. It works beautifully!

    I've been using it all Summer.



  2. I have the Ped Egg too! Got it in a white elephant game and it's the best! Sucker that put it in has scaly feet now and mine are smooth like a baby's behind.

    The grate on it lasts forever too, I think I've had it for over 2 years and have yet to need a new one. And something about the file on it, it is the best I've ever owned.

    Well spent $10.

  3. I use the Ped Egg too, and I love it!! Glad someone else does...


  4. Meg - I can't imagine anything better than the Ped Egg, but I'll give Dr. Scholls a whirl.

    Sara - why in the name of God would anybody give away their Ped Egg in a White Elephant exchange??? Madness. This thing has changed my life.

    Colleen - I get happy just thinking about it! (: