Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Hex Upon My House

For some inane reason, I thought taking the boys to Fisher Fest (St. John Fisher's annual fundraising carnival) would be fun. Joe was working and it was a beautiful day. What could possibly go wrong?

After several hours of losing the kids at various rides and enduring epic amounts of complaining, I had reached my limit. My nerves were shot. My money was gone. And my fuse was lit. So when Danny started playing with a Hexbug (mechanized toy bug) in the backseat as I drove to collect Joey, the buzzing toy reverberated through my very soul.

Me:  Daniel, turn that thing off.  NOW.

Dan: (unintelligible)

Fifteen seconds later, the buzzing started up again. Before Danny could say a word, my super-hero-like elastic arms reached behind me, grabbed the offending toy and swiftly threw it out the window before Danny knew what happened.

Dan:  Wha...MOMMMM!

Me:  I told you to keep that OFF.

Dan: But that was JACK'S Hexbug.


Hours after picking up Joey from my mom's house, I found myself on a dark Chicago street scouring the area to atone for my impulsive decision. All three boys slept soundly in the minivan as I searched endlessly for the dumb thing.

And wouldn't you know? Good as new. Well almost:

And all is right with the world.

Moral of the Story:  Take calculated risks.  That is quite different from being rash. (George S. Patton)


  1. I wouldn't have gone back to look for the toy, unless it was to put it in a recycling bin. Litterbug:)

  2. I don't think you did such a bad thing. It would have been better had it not been his brother's toy...stupid details. I bet he''l think twice next time.

  3. This past Spring, after the mounds of snow had melted outside of Outback Steakhouse, some small child must have found what could only be described as pure treasure to the five and under crowd. An expensive cast iron firetruck that made siren noises was tossed out the car window by a Mother who had the decision to either evict the child or the toy. The child turns six next week. Methinks I made the right choice. :D Oh, and I never went back to look for it.

    Love you!


  4. So funny-I can totally relate to being so fried with your children that even the smallest thing is like dental torture
    I am glad you found that hexbug though, those things are really overpriced

  5. Anonymous - My inner cheap kicked in, the things are expensive, even when purchased on-sale.

    Mary - He'd better, but I'm not holding my breath.

    Meg - You're a better mom than I.

    Gweenbrick - I knew you'd understand.

  6. Oh man I have beeen there. I got so frustrated with finding Nerf darts everywhere I started throwing them away, which makes no sense in the long run because guess who gets to buy new darts when he runs out? Bless your sweet heart for goin back for it. Also, I know it's wrong but I LOL'ed for like 10 minutes about it being his brother's.

  7. Steve did the same thing.. Xander threw his train at us from his car seat during one of his famous fits (when he turns into Damian and his head spins all the way around). It nearly hit the windsheild so we told him the next one was being thrown out. Wouldnt you know it, the little punk decided to test us and threw another one at us. Steve threw it right out the window as we were driving to shock of both kid and mother. Thank God it was not a Thomas train but a cheap wooden imitation (Thomas trains are NOT cheap). And Xander never threw another toy in the car again!

  8. I once opened the back door of our previous home (a condo with several flights of stairs-for dramatic effect!) and threw a bunch of Sean's matchbox cars out...and now I can't even remember what the offense was. I'm sure it was worth it, though.

    Meg recently had a birthday and received a bunch of helium balloons that everone insists on grabbing and punching when they have a spare moment, and the punching noise is making me CRAZY!! So I've been sneaking them one by one and cutting them with scissors and them putting them in the trash. HA HA HA HA!!!!