Saturday, July 30, 2011

A Fish Called Stubie

I was paying bills and tossing a bunch of junk mail into the recycling bin when Daniel started rifling through the container. Daniel loves the recycling bin. He sees it as his own personal supply chain for making "projects" (usually a bunch of random cereal boxes and pop cans duct-taped together). Something caught his attention.

No Pooch?  No Problem.
Daniel:  Why did you throw this away, mom??  It's a contest from our bank!  I can win $25 for writing a poem about my dog!

Me:  We don't own a dog, Dan.

Daniel:  It says here that it can really be about any pet.

Me:  Joey is not a pet, Dan.

Daniel (the $25 dangling like a carrot before him...reaching, reaching....) But we did have a pet once.  Remember Stubie?

It is beyond me how kids can remember things.  Stubie came home in a plastic bag after a field trip to the pet store when Dan was in 3-year-old preschool.  Despite my best efforts to kill Stubie that night, he persisted for a solid 3 months before meeting his demise.  The cause of death is still under investigation.

Me:  How can you remember Stubie?  You were three!

Daniel:  I loved Stubie.  He was my best friend.

Satisfied that I seemed to have green-lighted an entry into the Bank's "Pooch Poetry Contest," Daniel went to work.  Dan's motto?  When in doubt, resurrect your dead fish.  I must say, I was quite surprised by the quality of his work.  So much in fact, that my Tiger-Mom persona kicked in.  I made him re-write it three times with black Sharpie for dramatic effect and to improve legibility.  I asked that he include gills on his fish.  I almost wished I hadn't promised to turn it over to the bank as I fought the urge to laminate it and keep it for myself. 

I'm thinking future blogger.

So with a a solid entry in place, I will be dropping off Daniel's tragic lament of a goldfish apparently lost at sea.  Did I mention there was no physical evidence to link me to Stubie's death? 

And as for the final vestiges of Stubie's existence, they have been carefully put aside  for my next garage sale:

What do you think?  $1.50?  $2.00?


  1. Awesome!


  2. Very funny-I love the picture of Stubie-and thanks for all your nice comments on my blog!

  3. I *love* it! Attaboy Daniel!

  4. Jeanine - now I'm secretly hoping he wins, but if he doesn't, I emailed the bank to see if I can get the copy back.

    Greenbrick - you're blog is a riot. Makes me laugh out loud every time.

    Erica - Thanks! The kid has more drive than his dad & I put together.

  5. When Dan is ready to earn extra money, he can visit us and mow the lawn!

  6. Steph - don't think he won't try. He's been asking to shovel driveways since he was 5 years old. He suggested a charge of $1.00 a driveway. I told them he'd be running an illegal monopoloy with those kinds of prices.

  7. You can always scan the original poem/picture into the computer and then reprint it to laminate and keep :)

  8. Rada - too late. Where were you when I needed you? Oh yeah. Toad.