Hello, Marianne? This is the Lord. I did not see you in mass this morning and I was wondering when you were planning on attending next. How will I recognize you at the pearly gates if you never bother showing your face in church? Oh, and drink some orange juice and tea. The flu is going around.
By the end of the year, my roommates were used to it and barely looked up as they advised, "Jesus called again. He wants to know when you're going to be done with finals. Oh, and eat some vegetables."
While I may have stolen the majority of my material from my parents' colorful playbook, I have adjusted it somewhat for my own household needs (tickets to heaven anyone?). Despite this, I still remain open to suggestions. And every once in a while, I come across an idea from another parent that strikes me as pure genius.
One of my recent disciplinary tactics was taken directly from the blog Cheaper than Therapy. The mom over there incorporates a 5-minute "time-out" where combatants are required to hold hands during periods of civil unrest. This was right up my alley so I instantly hijacked it and put it to good use. I found it hard to contain my laughter as I watched the supremely righteous expressions my children displayed during the implementation phase. Little boys forced into a loving gesture at the height of their indignation - it was a sight to behold:
|I'm guessing by Jack's expression that Joey was probably the instigator.|
|"How little contact can we make without mom getting mad?"|
So to mothers who share: thank you.