Sunday, August 21, 2011

Some Pig

If I never help plan another block party again, it will be too soon.  To be fair, my awesome co-chair did most of the worrying throughout the morning (as storms pummeled Chicago and threatened to cancel our long-anticipated event).  I did the only thing I could think of to help:  I sent over a pina colada to calm her nerves.  With extra cherries.

Sure enough, the sun finally appeared and the horrible rainy morning quickly became just a distant memory.

Unfortunately, my plans for a pig roast did not turn out quite as well.  With the beast laid out for all the world to see, I wound up inadvertently traumatizing a whole army of small children.  The purpose of the pig roast was to accentuate our Hawaiian Luau theme.  Instead, I just accentuated how gross dead animals can be sometimes.

One little girl passed out.  Another vegan kid left.  My Joey spent much of the day insisting, "I not eating that dead piggie."  It was a disaster.

I saw bacon.  The kids saw Wilbur.
The one bright spot in the day came from Daniel. I was told by several witnesses that Daniel went up to our caterer and asked if he could have the pig's teeth. Upon questioning, Daniel revealed:

I just want to see what happens if I leave them for the tooth fairy.

That's right. My son was looking to pull a fast one on a fairy.  Place a few imposter teeth under his pillow and pick up a few extra bucks for baseball cards and gum.

Part of me was mortified, and part of me was very proud.  Either way, I needed a laugh after looking down the belly of the beast and realizing I do not have what it takes to be Block Party Czar. 

And pigs everywhere can now breathe a sigh of relief.


  1. Yeah, I skipped the pork myself. I do not like to see my meat in the actual shape of the animal. I want it shrinkwrapped. I can't help it, I was not raised on a farm.

  2. HA! I think I could've seen that one coming actually... darn Charlotte's Web... ruining pigs on a spit for everyone. :)

  3. Anymous - Live in learn I suppose. Up until recently, I couldn't eat chicken off the bones as I didn't want the reminder.

    Skwishee - next time it's mac & cheese for everyone. Oh wait, there won't be a next time. Whew.

  4. Was the pig a northside or southside as in Cubs vs White Sox? What was porky's name?

  5. Not a lot of pig roasts at our Jewish block parties!

  6. Anonymous - I called him Wilbur, but that had to stop when the kids started looking upset. No comment on team allegiance, the pig wasn't talking.

    Steph - You kill me - I'm assuming all your block parties serve hummus? Every time we come up there, Joe wants to bet $100 you're going to have hummus. He never had hummus until he met you, and ONLY has it with you. It's kind of your thing. xoxo Mar

  7. Did the toothfairy leave anything for the pig?...I mean Danny?

  8. Mary - nope. Danny never got his hands on the teeth. They looked pointy and scary, so I'm rather relieved.

  9. Agricola - and now it's driving me nuts that I can't remember the other message Charlotte weaved! Time to google...

  10. Ha - I'm dying over the trauma of the dead pig and the tooth fairy scam!