I apologize to all those who have been anxiously awaiting Joe's reaction to the new NBC series Chicago Fire. I am delayed in reporting back because I wouldn't allow my husband to watch the DVR'ed first episode without me and my trusty pen set to record his every thought.
As a Chicago fireman, Joe refuses to suspend disbelief for purposes of network television (see related blog here). Joe is also incapable of remaining quiet about his dissatisfaction regarding any and all perceived inaccuracies.
It was the perfect storm to showcase the glory that is my husband. I decided to let the man's words speak for themselves:
Scene: Firefighters sit relaxed on the way to a fire, wearing t-shirts and suspenders:
What the f*ck? Nobody's wanting to get ready? Put their gear on maybe? Or are they on their way to a cotillion?
Scene: While arriving at a burning building, firefighters banter even as a person is reported trapped in the building:
Take your time, fellas. It's not like it's a FIRE or anything.
Scene: Young Firefighter Darden is killed tragically at the blaze:
I guess Darden wasn't to have a big role in this show?
Paramedics and firefighters continue to report for work at all different times of day and night:
Doesn't anybody work a full 24-hour shift at this house? What the hell. I guess it's half-days for everyone!
Scene: A new firefighter is shown wearing a "CANDIDATE" t-shirt with the words clearly printed across it:
Look at you with your fancy candidate shirt! Yeah. We don't have those.
Scene: Yet another fire:
The smoke on this show is great. You can see everything perfectly. I gotta find out what we're doing wrong, because I've NEVER seen that kind of magic-ass smoke.
Scene: The show's "chief" races to leave a charity boxing match he's been participating in while still wearing his boxing gear. He arrives at the latest SUPER-fire:
Oh, look. He's coming from the boxing ring now. Are there NO OTHER CHIEFS IN THE CITY???
Scene: Two more firefighters fall through a floor of a burning building:
Man. These are some bad luck firemen. I'd be looking for a transfer by now. And eating a whole lotta Lucky Charms.
Scene: A hospital, where a previously-introduced paramedic stops a doctor to inquire about the health of a little girl she had brought in earlier. The doctor flips through his clipboard and updates her:
I see. He's got the status of EVERY patient in the ENTIRE hospital right there. That's some clipboard. Better than a Smartphone.
So when it was over, I asked Joe what kind of "official review" I could provide to my readership. His response?
Tell 'em it didn't suck as much as I thought it would. But "Rescue Me" was way funnier, and the guys looked like real firemen. These ones? They're practically flexing for the camera. It's ridiculous.
As Joe headed up to bed, I was sure to DVR the rest of the season. I think I may institute a new drinking game based on every gratuitous shirtless firemen scene. I'll be smashed before the first commercial break.
Not that I'm complaining.