Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Not Forgotten

Every year at this time, I carefully avoid the 9/11 coverage. I still cannot bear to watch the documentaries, the interviews, or the historical footage. For me, the shock has never really worn off.   

I wrote an essay last year (re-posted in today's Chicago Parent) that helped me honor just one of the many people I have not forgotten.  For anyone who worked at Aon at the time, "business as usual" was never quite the same.  The company would lose 176 people that morning.

Before that day, I had a tendency to save old voicemails on my work phone until projects were completed.  But with all the post-9/11 chaos, long hours, and revised focus, it was months before I got around to clearing out old messages. That was when I came across voicemails from lost colleagues. They talked excitedly about new initiatives and projects we had been working on together. They said we should talk soon. One message came just 15 hours before the second plane hit.


I could never bring myself to erase those messages. They remained on my voicemail until I left Aon.  I listened to them every so often, trying to make sense of it all.   It reminded me that 9/11 hadn't just been a national tragedy, but it also took the lives of fantastic people with fantastic New York accents.  People who told me I needed to relax and quit being so serious.  People who mocked me and other Chicagoans for only ordering sausage on our pizzas.  People who lived full lives and who had friends and family who loved them very much.     

Last year, I chose to write about one particular individual I knew pretty well. Had it not been for Denise Benedetto, I know for certain my career in corporate America wouldn't have lasted a month.  I was a disaster.  Denise was a mother, a daughter, and the type of person I hope my sons to be one day. She was generous, kind, and ridiculously funny. 

Whenever people suggest that women do not support other women in business, I correct them.  My experience had been so much different.  I had a Denise.  I wish we all had her a bit longer.

15 comments:

  1. What a lovely post, Marianne, and a personal glimpse into your heart. Thank you.

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  2. I've been avoiding the coverage for years too. I lived in Connecticut when it happened. I knew people that lost loved ones. I knew people that suffered injuries. I haven't written "my story" publicly. I really just try not to think about it too much. It was an experience I don't want to relive every year. I know my approach isn't popular. Almost everyone I know on Facebook has changed their profile pictures to reflect their patriotisim. It seems like everyone wants to be part of it, but I just want to put it behind me.

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    1. I hear that from people a lot. Picking at an open wound can be painful. Hope you're doing okay today.

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  3. I didn't know anyone involved in the tragedy, nor anyone who knew someone personally... This year, finding new friends on the internet, I know a lot more people who were directly touched by that terrible day. Thank you for sharing your unique experience - it helps us all to remember, which is painful, but essential.

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    1. Writing about it brings it all back, so I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I doubt there will ever be a time I can sit through all the television coverage of the day. My husband recites facts left and right that I had no idea about. He can watch all the anniversary shows. Not me.

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  4. ^I think you're right, Lillian. My daughter now lives in Brooklyn, very close to Manhattan (Wmsburg) and she says that "old-timers"--folks who lived in NY 10 years ago--would just as soon forget.

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    1. I can definitely understand that urge. Thanks for reading, Kirby.

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  5. Your essay was beautiful...heartbreakingly beautiful.

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  6. What a lovely tribute. I grew up on LI, and many, if not most, of my friends (we'd all graduated college by then) were still in NY; more than enough of them at or near WTC. I did not lose anyone I was so close to, but friends lost parents, cousins, siblings ... and I remember the fear I felt, the sickness, while I waited to track people down, and got lucky, every time. I, like you, am happy enough to stay quiet and quietly out of the "reminders" on this one day a year, away from the news and Facebook and everything else. But your tribute to Denise brought tears to my eyes, and I'm sure to yours, too. Love and hugs, Marianne!

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    1. I couldn't imagine having to track down family that day, holy cow. Thank you for the kind response.

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  7. Heart tugging, and beautifully written. Besides the obvious 9/11 parts that I could comment on, I love the women helping women aspect of it. Stories of back stabbing can run rampant, but I think there are alot more 'Denise's' in the world than we realize. Glad to hear you had one.:)

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    1. Thank you, J.R. There ARE some great women out there, right? (cue: hold mirror up to your face).

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  8. What a beautiful tribute to your friend. It is hard to comprehend this horrific event, even to this day, I am so sorry for your loss. And yes...I so agree how 1 person can be a life changing factor.

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