Have you named your kids Robbie, Chip and Ernie? Did you have a "Mike" that suddenly disappeared? Is your husband's name "Steve"? Did they get rid of you because you are cranky and hate puppies and then replace you with an "Uncle" named Charley? I believe I've seen your show.
Ha! Damn contract disputes. I wonder which one of My Three Sons will start negotiating for more money. Perhaps I can replace them with an "Ernie" who actually cooks?
After reading your latest piece...I contacted my therapist, the world renowned advice giver, otherwise known as "Jim...the RV guy". I told him of your issues with puppies and cable guys. I also informed him of like you, my love for mankind. I love the teen or so called teens that ring the doorbell at 9 p.m. begging you to subscribe to the local newspaper so they can put themselves thru college with the $5 commission they'll get from the sale if you would only sign up and I won't let you go back to watching your favorite tv show until you give in and agree to subscribe to a paper that you would only use for coffee grounds and place on newly washed kitchen floors that yes my Irish mother made us do(she really did) for some odd reason and now you know why my family is so wacked out...but getting back to the issue here...so anyhew, Jim....the RV guy suggested we...you, me, and the leftover revelers from Western Ave. after a Saturday night, meet at Beverly Park and in chorus, hold hands and sing Kumbaya while passing around a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. By the end of an hour, we should all be in love with humanity til the next morning anyway....hey it's a start. I'm even providing the YOUTUBE link below so you can refresh yourself with the lyrics. Warning though....I will instantaneously know who it is if I hear an all points bulletin in the near future of some woman singing Kumbaya in her tree holding onto that bottle of (insert favorite brand). Maybe you can get an I-Bond.
MBF - I'm holding my sides. Great image you portrayed here! And those door to door newspaper kids? The first words out of their mouths are "I'm not selling anything." I want to sream "LIAR!" but Joe won't let me. I'm 100% in on some Mad Dog and Kumbaya (I'm all caught up on the lyrics). If the police do come, chances are they'll just roll their eyes and comment, "Poor Joe. Poor, poor Joe."
I hate puppies, too. I loved this piece. I think we were perhaps given precisely the families we need to cover for our ranting, puppy-hating ways. And to keep us exceedingly humble when the 8-year-olds behave better in public than we do sometimes. :) Love it!
Have you named your kids Robbie, Chip and Ernie? Did you have a "Mike" that suddenly disappeared? Is your husband's name "Steve"? Did they get rid of you because you are cranky and hate puppies and then replace you with an "Uncle" named Charley? I believe I've seen your show.
ReplyDeleteHa! Damn contract disputes. I wonder which one of My Three Sons will start negotiating for more money. Perhaps I can replace them with an "Ernie" who actually cooks?
DeleteAfter reading your latest piece...I contacted my therapist, the world renowned advice giver, otherwise known as "Jim...the RV guy". I told him of your issues with puppies and cable guys. I also informed him of like you, my love for mankind. I love the teen or so called teens that ring the doorbell at 9 p.m. begging you to subscribe to the local newspaper so they can put themselves thru college with the $5 commission they'll get from the sale if you would only sign up and I won't let you go back to watching your favorite tv show until you give in and agree to subscribe to a paper that you would only use for coffee grounds and place on newly washed kitchen floors that yes my Irish mother made us do(she really did) for some odd reason and now you know why my family is so wacked out...but getting back to the issue here...so anyhew, Jim....the RV guy suggested we...you, me, and the leftover revelers from Western Ave. after a Saturday night, meet at Beverly Park and in chorus, hold hands and sing Kumbaya while passing around a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. By the end of an hour, we should all be in love with humanity til the next morning anyway....hey it's a start. I'm even providing the YOUTUBE link below so you can refresh yourself with the lyrics. Warning though....I will instantaneously know who it is if I hear an all points bulletin in the near future of some woman singing Kumbaya in her tree holding onto that bottle of (insert favorite brand). Maybe you can get an I-Bond.
ReplyDeleteMBF
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo9AH4vG2wA
MBF - I'm holding my sides. Great image you portrayed here! And those door to door newspaper kids? The first words out of their mouths are "I'm not selling anything." I want to sream "LIAR!" but Joe won't let me. I'm 100% in on some Mad Dog and Kumbaya (I'm all caught up on the lyrics). If the police do come, chances are they'll just roll their eyes and comment, "Poor Joe. Poor, poor Joe."
ReplyDeleteAre we related? I think my husband must wake up some nights relieved that it was just a bad dream...until he sees me lying next to him!
ReplyDeleteYes, but you do have that snazzy bracelet to help keep the magic going! (:
DeleteHmmm, I had not considered its hypnotic powers, or at least not how they could be used "your wife is kind and patient"...
DeleteI hate puppies, too. I loved this piece. I think we were perhaps given precisely the families we need to cover for our ranting, puppy-hating ways. And to keep us exceedingly humble when the 8-year-olds behave better in public than we do sometimes. :) Love it!
ReplyDeleteAnother puppy-hater? What a relief. I think you're right. I did get exactly the family I needed. Thanks for reading, Lou!
DeleteYou are so dang funny!!! What adorable boys...I'm off to read your link.
ReplyDeleteThanks, hi-d! Hope you enjoyed it!
DeleteLOL! And why do you come in as a "no reply" when you comment on me? Drives me crazy! And, again, too funny!
ReplyDelete:)
me