Friday, August 10, 2012

Shame in a Brown Paper Bag

I once read that Candy Spelling has an entire room in her house devoted to wrapping presents.  I don't understand how this is possible. I mean how much space does one person need to simply shove things into a brown paper bag? 

I myself required only a kitchen counter to "wrap" Joe's birthday present last month:

Do you like how I saved on tape and used a chip clip instead?  CLASSY.

When it comes time to wrap presents for assorted kiddie parties, I haul out some clearanced Christmas rolls and duct tape.  Never mind that some of the kids' friends are Jewish.  My corners aren't exactly tight.  In fact, most people wouldn't feel comfortable using the word "corners" when describing my handiwork. I usually fib and tell parents that Joey helped.

I just never understood the point of putting a lot of effort into something that takes a few seconds to remove and throw away.  That was until yesterday:



There were cute little cookie and ice cream pictures taped to each stage of unwrapping. My kids gathered around, confused by the grandeur and extravagance of it all. There were sheer ribbons and silken material. There was calligraphy. And art. Magic abounded and curiosity took hold as I, along with my trio of bleary-eyed little boys, unearthed this most special of gifts.
 

With baited breath, we pulled out a beautiful wheel.  It was something to ignite both the mind and pen.  I dusted off a spot next to my computer.  This amazing gift of creativity and ingenuity was sent courtesy of  MOV, co-author of our upcoming book and apparent gift-wrapping savant.




I started to understand and appreciate this process a bit more.

And then I started panicking over my plans to send her a Starbucks gift card with a poem I wrote that rhymes "Nantucket" with one very bad word.

Like I said.  CLASSY.

22 comments:

  1. Awesome!!! Happy Birthday, Marianne. :) So glad you liked the wheel, and I totally envisioned it inspiring you to "get your wheels turning" if you get stuck with writing. I even envisioned it sitting right next to your computer (sort of awkward if your computer is a laptop and you are at the beach, but hey, I think the wheel might be portable).

    And your super-nice comments about my wrapping skills make me blush...............

    ps-- could you write a note to my old boss at Williams Sonoma and let her know I am a good gift-wrapper? She always made me do everything over.......

    xxo
    MOV

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    1. Send me your boss' address! I'll drop a note now! And inclue pics! Don't think I won't. (:

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  2. I actually love wrapping gifts. Then again, I also enjoy making beds.

    Last Christmas I even made my own wrapping paper... little hand drawn garlands of multi-coloured Christmas lights. I may have a disease of some sort.

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    1. You are not diseased! You're CRAFTY! And why the hell didn't I get one drop of the stuff???

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  3. Yes, that is very fancy shamncy. I didn't know you had a book! Cool!

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    1. It's all MOV! We're super-excited about the book, even if my mom is the only one who buys it. (:

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  4. You are one class act Marianne! And did MOV send you that wheel to keep those wheels turning in your head ...

    :)

    Linda

    P.S. I'm a gift wrapping savant. Seriously. I love to gift wrap!

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    1. Linda - Thank you and why am I not surprised? Be honest. You're really Candy Spelling, aren't you?

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  5. You are such a bad ass. I LOVE IT. We might be "twinsies!"

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    1. I'll take that as the ultimate compliment! (:

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  6. Oh no, oh no, no no...I picked a very bad time to send you something...in a way too big envelope just folded over a few times. Must go to be alone with my shame now...

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    1. No you didn't! It arrived today (my actual B.D.) and make me crack up! I'm still laughing. Look for future blog post soon! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

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    2. I should have at least used the comics and some scotch tape! :) happy birthday!

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  7. Happy Birthday,M!
    Hope it was a good one!

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  8. There isn't one good gift wrapper in my family. My husband doesn't even wrap. He just buys you something a few days before your birthday and then hands it to you a few days before your birthday. I have fantasies about being a gift wrapping savant(I buy the ribbons, the paper, the pretty name tags), but in the end I have the same problems with corners that you have.

    I can't believe people have entire rooms devoted to wrapping. Maybe they live in Macy's?

    Happy Birthday! How old are you now, 22?

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    1. Thanks, Lillian! How DO people do those corners?? I'm at a loss.

      I think I'll be sticking with 31. It's more plausible than my 20s but far less than my real age which is bordering on AARP membership.

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  9. My mother is a master wrapper. Amazing but she's an artist. I'm a lover of ribbon so I always figure if there's a big bow on it nobody will notice the rest of the package.

    Love the wheel and the thought behind it.

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    1. I may try ribbons to distract people away from my sad corners. Thanks for the idea & for reading!

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  10. Marianne- I am the same!!
    Wait, let me clarify...Not the same as MOV, her Virgoness, Virgo osity, Virgoliciousness, kinda scares me. But I love her (MOV if you are reading this, scary in a good way.) Can't wait for the book!
    I think I am the same as YOU. Brown paper bags are the best. BIG brown bags from the grocery store, even better.Cut them, turn them inside out, INSTANT Wrapping Paper!
    I enlarged your pic of the wheel at your computer to get a better look a the gift, and my eyes went straight to the hoop earrings to the left of your computer. Cross my heart, that is exactly, EXACTLY what is sitting at my desk as well. Also upstairs on my nightstand, which is where my laptop is. I also have my pens in a mug! Hmmmmmm~!

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    1. We are related, aren't we? There is NOTHING I love more than a great big pair of hooker hoops. Makes me feel sassy. And pens in a mug? Where else could you put them? It's not like there's any room in any drawers around here. I'll pass along your kind words to MOV, and as always, I'm so happy you stopped by!

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