Friday, August 1, 2014

The Contest - Week 9: Little Trees Air Fresheners

This week's episode of The Contest contains my letter to the Little Trees air freshener people.  I do believe I'm overdue for a new tree and car wash.  Time to call hazmat.

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Dear Little Trees, 

I suspect you probably have a very good handle on the existence of stinky cars and the wretched stenches within.  You know the kinds of odors I am talking about.  The ones capable of bringing even the most steadfast of minivan moms to her knees: 
  • Rotting food
  • Smelly gym shoes
  • Moldy book bags   
  • Dog poop
As the mother of three sons, my sense of smell has been so horribly assaulted over the years that I have often suggested to my husband we simply abandon our minivan and start over.  My husband’s response?

The minivan is only a few years old!  We’re still making the payments.  There is no way we are abandoning a car because you think it smells like rot.
 
Sadly, this comes from a man who cannot smell burning microwave popcorn three feet from his nose.  He has no credibility whatsoever.

The day I discovered your Mango Little Tree Fresheners, my life turned around.  Instead of wanting to drive my minivan off the nearest cliff, I popped in a reggae CD and let the glorious tropical scent waft through our pen-stained interior. I felt for sure that had there been a dead dog in the car, I would not have noticed.  Mango is just that powerful.  And for the record, there is not, nor has there ever been, a dead dog in my car. 

That I’m aware of. 

Some suggest that your company’s priorities are simply to make money and profit from the misfortunes of the minivan crowd.  I beg to differ.  Your little trees are obviously about the public good.  Think of all the carpool kids you have aided.  Think of the hundreds of minivan moms and their girls’ nights out - all salvaged because of you. 

You and your Little Trees. 

You have left your mark in my life like few have.  I am so lucky to have found you.  Your essence is with me forever, dangling in the review mirror and reminding me that whenever life gets stinky, there will always be sweet, sweet mango.

Sincerely,

Marianne Walsh

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As of yet, there is still no response from the Little Trees people.  I'd like to think the reason is they are coming up with new savory scents for me at this moment.  So my score remains at 27.  To check out the competition, visit Andrea now by clicking HERE! 

9 comments:

  1. We traded in our mini-van after Favorite Young Man barfed all over the inside when he was about 12. Sorry you didn't get anything. Your letter deserved a reward.

    Love,
    Janie

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  2. I am thinking you have the boys wear fun tree necklaces so they can carry that fresh air with them wherever they go? ;)

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    1. Um. Jack and Joey both have one hanging from their bed frames.

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  3. I have not tried the Mango Little Tree, but now I want one!!! I hope that send you a box of air fresheners. Maybe they will name the next one after you... something like Marianne Minivan Delight.

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  4. It's a cryin' shame, Mar. You so deserved to box of trees.

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  5. Thanks for bringing that boy smell immediately to mind. Oh, and it gets worse when they hit puberty. Just consider that a fair warning.

    -andi

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