Friday, July 11, 2014

The Contest - Week 6: Peeps

Oh, lawdy lawdy.

My mom is going to kill me.

But this letter for Week 6 of THE CONTEST is totally true.  Was it worth it?  Find out below!

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Dear Peeps,

I wish to share a deep, dark family secret with you today.   My mom, born in 1947, is a conjoined twin of sorts.  Yet unlike your yellow packs of delicious marshmallowy goodness, my mom’s biological condition is not quite as obvious to the outside world. 

Now you might be wondering how folks could miss a lady walking around with a whole other person attached to her.  Let me explain.
 
My mom?  She totally has extra parts.

I suppose this medical anomaly is more accurately described as having leftover bits from a former conjoined twin.  It is not like there is a whole intact person there.  While there might have been at one point, that poor little babe never saw the light of day. 

My mom possesses several indicators revealing she began life as a multiple pregnancy.  Her heart is on the wrong side (a defect seen often in mirror twins).  Other organs are incomplete or wired wrong.  Most telling of all?

The woman has five spleens.

Five.

Which leads me back to Peeps.  It is my belief that my mom may have been one of five conjoined quintuplets. 

It’s true. 

I think she was the first Peep. 

Being a modest lady, my mother downplays her relevance to the medical and marshmallow communities.  But it is all there in clear black and white, courtesy of an undisputed x-ray taken by a lovely woman named “Janice.”

In honor of my mom, I hold a very sacred place in my heart for your company and products.  They are not only delicious, but they are also symbolic of the person who has loved me from the moment I made my first peep.

My five-spleened mom. 

Warmest Regards,


Marianne Walsh
 
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So did Peeps respond?
 
C'mon.  This is me we're talking about.
 
Of course they did.  But I was seriously worried that these babies would be devoured before I could control myself long enough to take a picture:
 
 

Total Point Total = 22.  For my competition's letter - CLICK HERE!

She might be keeping the contest close, but Andrea is definitely one of my favorite Peeps.
 
Be sure to tune in next week for more inappropriate letters to corporate America!

16 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness gracious gravy! Picking on someone born in my decade! Do they harvest spleens? Can't wait to hear your mom's reaction.

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    1. Shhh. I didn't tell her about this one.

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  2. I love Peeps. Love. Your mom is going to kill you.

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  3. Have you ever been a Peeps store? We went last week in MN and I thought my tween was going to explode. So glad that they sent you the traditional Peeps and not the "sour watermelon" flavor my daughter opted for. I have failed as a parent. Your mother, clearly, has not.

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    Replies
    1. THERE'S A PEEP STORE??? How did I not know this??

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  4. I will never look at Peeps the same way again!

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    Replies
    1. I don't look at them too much while eating...upsets me.

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  5. I want to meet your mom.
    And I want a peep.

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  6. PEEPS! That letter is hilarious. PEEPS! It's been so long.

    Love,
    Janie

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  7. Haha...one of my favorites! I hate Peeps but I'm glad you got some. Go hide under the covers and enjoy them

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