Friday, January 18, 2013

All Washed Up

After last Saturday's evening at the laundromat, I am happy to announce the old dryer is back up and running.   While keeping three crabby kids in line for four hours was quite the challenge,  the "inspirational" signs posted all over the walls left me quite disconcerted.

It wasn't because I don't enjoy a good inspirational saying now and then, but I do ask that those sign people use the correct versions of their/they're/there, you're/your, and it's/its.  Didn't anyone watch Schoolhouse Rock as a kid?  It was all I could do to not whip out my magic Sharpie and correct each one by hand. That magic Sharpie lives in my purse and lies in wait at all times for just such grammar emergencies to occur.  I was actually ready to pull it out when I noticed the laundry maven giving me the stink eye. 

She was a big woman. 

Sometimes, you just have to pick your battles.

I am not above making the occasional grammar mistake, but if you're going to post such things for lost and laundered souls to stare at in-between wash cycles, the sh*t had better be right.

End of rant.

I may pop in next week with trusty Sharpie for one last attempt to right this wrong. There's a slighter laundry maven who works Tuesdays.  I think I could take her.

What I wouldn't do in the name of grammar, syntax, and the Queen's English.  I am practically Professor Higgins.

Does anybody even know who Professor Higgins is anymore?

I am so old.

But I'm old with dry laundry.  Woot-woot!

Joey was upset that I would not spend $200 in quarters to win a $1 stuffed animal.  He is holding a toy drill, and threatened to use it to to break in and "free his duckie."  My own little Michael Collins.


Jack thought the laundromat was the neatest place in the world, and wondered why we didn't go there every day. I think he is going to love college.

You know Dan.  He may be preparing for a career with the FBI based on his staunch refusal have his picture taken.  

26 comments:

  1. I've been known to correct random signs posted around the office. And you know, you think you're doing the place a favor and then they act like it looks *less* professional with the scribble marks all over it...

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    1. Oh, Jennifer. The world just does not understand us. You correct those signs, my friend. One improper usage at a time.

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  2. I almost died this week. One of my proffs said "irregardless" ... I almost choked and demanded a refund and chose a different university. I should probably be worried for my education.

    Anyways, I'm glad you don't have to go back to that grammar graveyard anymore. (:

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    1. That professor should lose his tenure for using "irregardless." And we wonder why America is falling so far behind the rest of the world...

      Irregardless (heh heh), I hope you're enjoying school!

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  3. LOL with Dan and picture shy :) I love Jack's thinking the laundromat was the best place, too funny. Perhaps he could do the clothes the next time the dryer goes out :)

    Sympathies to you for being in the laundromat in the first place; thankful the dryer is fixed; let's hope it stays that way!

    betty

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    1. Thanks, Betty! After a while, they were all put to work in order to end the bickering & squabbling. Joe is still digging out items from the closet and asking, "WHO folded this??"

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  4. gosh those laundry days of the past ugh I shudder because they are in the most inapproperiate times, new born baby 2 under 5 yr.olds husband needs work clothes creepy guy trying to catch a peek at nursing mama kids wanting snacks with the quarters ohhh shudder again. Glad the dryer was fixed, oh and my college kiddo won't use the laundry places it's moms place or walmart for clean uddies & socks speaking of which it is Friday and he just drove an hour to leave me 7 loads lol kids!!!

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    1. Your college kiddo ain't no fool!

      I used to think the laundromat was fun in my 20s. Now? With three kids and 50 loads, it is the very definition of torture. Glad you survived it!!

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  5. Been there. Done that. Been B!tc#-slapped by the laundry maven.

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    1. I think they recruit the laundry mavens from the Joliet Penitentiary. The woman had a tatoo that read: "You is my bitch now."

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  6. I know exactly who Professor Higgins is and I, too, carry a Sharpie in my purse for such emergencies (and others - it's amazing how often you need a Sharpie when you are out and about.)
    I believe you and I are soul sisters on these matters.

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    1. My Fair Lady-Lou! I am so happy there are still musical loving geeks out there! We are truly soul sisters (in a non-Lady Marmalade kinda way).

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  7. Haha! Oh to be a fly on the wall as you take on the slighter laundry maven.

    Joey's face made me cry out "awww" in sympathy, whilst simultaneously laughing out loud at the look of utter frustration on his little visage.

    And yes, I know who proffesor Higgins is. :)

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    1. You Brits practically INVENTED musical theatre! Of course you'd know!

      Don't feel sorry for Joey, his collection of stuffed animals could fill a stadium. My mom gets suckered in by every one of those looks. Me? I've got a heart of stone.

      Always so happy when you stop by, Lily!!

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  8. I'm with you Marianne, lets set up a mission. I'll go in first. I'll feign being an ignant male when it comes to doing laundry and/or turn on my charm and while flirting with the laundry maven, give her glass after glass of Rum Chata. She'll be a drooling mess. Then you sneak in, crouching, wearing a black eye mask and cape and with you're magic sharpie, go to work, ridding the venue of all the wongly spelled wurds. Maybe they will make it a reality show, where we travel threwout the country, ridding it of misspelled wurds. Then we can go on The View and pontificate how brilliant we are.
    MBF

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    1. I'm adding this all to my marketing plan now. Genius. And I think you may already know this laundry maven. She appears to have an arrest record and/or affinity for prison lingo.

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  9. Oh Joey! What do I have laying around this place that might turn that frown upside down? Certainly second hand castoffs cure anything!

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    1. Don't you dare, Andrea!! These stuffed animals are taking over my life. Joey is ridiculously attached to each one. I tried bagging up a few to throw away, and before it even got out the door, Joey was all, "Where's Buttercup, Sparky, and Phil???" It's like he takes stock every morning. I'm screwed.

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  10. I need to write a rap about grammar. Stay tuned. I always need good ideas for my raps and grammar is an excellent one to add to my collection of flip flops, junk, and low rider pants.

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    1. Poem of Sorts for the Epic Mom Stuck in a Laundromat

      Here and there you can go
      Unless they’re closed
      Or unless there’s snow
      It’s cold out there, it is, it is
      The choice is its or theirs
      Their grammar belongs to them
      Use it to design a poster
      Or become the post roaster
      So let’s hear it for our grammar toaster
      The skill is yours and for your boys!

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    2. HA! Love it, Carol. You've been holding out on me with this kind of talent. You can be the next Eminem!! Or Eminem's mom (if Eminem had a nice mom instead of the crazy one he raps about).

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  11. WOW I'm a little jealous of your laundromat, with the games it looks like a Chuck E Cheeze. :) I only use the facility a few times a year for washing blankets because I don't want to tear up my own washer, but I hate them. You are also lucky at least the signs were in a language you can understand.

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    1. They also had really good treats in the vending machines. As far as laundromats go, it was definitely the creme dela creme, signs notwithstanding.

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  12. i avoid the laundry mat and still save up all the dirty clothes and take them home once a month, yes i have that many undies hahaha

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    1. I miss those days. A lot. Enjoy them while you can!! Thanks for visiting!

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  13. I am 27 years old and a fan of Professor Higgins. He mad eloquent, yo.

    OH PROFESSA IGGNS'! JUST YOU WAIT!

    If you ever want to take a road trip through the south with sharpies, I'm game.

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