But then I remember I have allergies, I hate the outdoors, and hard physical labor sucks.
So instead, I go to Parent-Teacher conferences in the big city and write about having to sign a form explaining concussions in case my child is injured during his after-school activity.
Which is CHESS by the way. Apparently those chess kids can be brutal.
Click HERE for my latest in Chicago Parent.
I want to know why you didn't get a $25 gift card! Or would that have been considered a bribe for you to report a good story about your conference? Oh well, I think you'll have to put a mole in there to find out the real scoop! But glad to hear that your children are doing fine in school and that the school district is watching out for their safety, even with chess!!!
ReplyDeletebetty
It is all about safety, right? And gift cards.
DeleteJust once, I wish someone would bribe me. Guilt usually works too well, so I never bag any goodies.
I am amazed gift cards were given out. It almost makes me want to just pretend I have a son named Billy so I can sneak in there and get one.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I would totally watch that show. I hope NBC is listening. I also have an unusual craving for Poptarts right now!
Cherry Pop Tarts are delicious.
DeleteYou look like you could have a Billy. I'd back you up.
You go to parent-teacher conferences without having to be bribed - - you'll never ever get a $25 gift card unless you quit going and stop caring about your children. Not gonna happen, huh?!
ReplyDeleteOh I don't know. One Mike's Hard Lemonade too many and I could be all "I have KIDS???"
DeleteI went to the conference and I liked it too!! I was nervous this being a new school and all but I really like the kids teacher she has been at it for 30 years and her love for teaching is like a brand new puppy STILL (how is that possible?) I don't need the gift card I am just happy to like the teacher :]
ReplyDeleteBut I want to be briiiiibbbbbed. You know. Just so I can feel part of the club.
DeleteGlad you got a winning teacher this year!! That can make such a difference.
I had lines prepared for the last conference and was pushed through like a fat sausage in a production line. "Next!"
ReplyDeleteWe need to plan better for this tactic next year. Call me. I'm sure we can brainstorm.
DeleteNo more covert CPS Ops, but surely there are other perks to being outed. How disheartening that people have to get incentives to communicate with their kids' teachers. I wish I was surprised. Good luck with those rough and tough chess kids!
ReplyDeleteThose chess kids are bad ass. Like amped-up accordian players if you ask me.
DeleteLove the column. Hysterical! Guess you need to put a wire on another mom that they won't suspect is working undercover.
ReplyDeleteDo you think whoever I can get to wear a wire would also snag me a gift card? Thanks for reading!!
DeleteHaha @ chess. OMG, the chess club stories I could tell you. Like the cheerful kid who announced innocently to everyone else that his brother "likes his old girlfriend better than his new girlfriend, because his old girlfriend gave special massages". Oh dear.
ReplyDeleteAAAAND! You will send me nothing for free. NOTHING, I tell you. Because I will BUY it. I plan on nabbing the bragging rights that will come along when you're rich and famous and I can tell people that I was your first paying customer in a bored, smug voice. I will buy it, I will read it, and then - if you really want to send a free book - I'll plug the **** out of it on my blog and do a giveaway with the freebie.
Uh oh! Competition for the first copy? It's on!
DeleteStephanie - You've got chess stories?? Please, for all that is decent, please put them to clay figures!!! Thank you for agreeing to plug the **** out of the book. I was going to offer Walgreens gift cards (you know how I like a theme), but I'm so grateful for all your support!
DeleteAndrea - I don't Andrea. Stephanie is CANADIAN. Don't they practice voo-doo? Be careful, my friend. Be careful.
Full contact chess?! Is a sports,physical required too?
ReplyDeleteI think so. And I'm supposed to buy "a cup."
DeleteWho knew chess was so rough? Though, I have to say, anytime a group of boys gets together for anything competitive, there's the potential things are going to take a turn for the violent. A couple of years ago, my oldest son and some friends made up an impromptu game called "pain ball". They were about 11 at the time. So, it's always good to know the concussion protocol just in case - lol. Though, miraculously, it wasn't needed that day.
ReplyDeletePain ball??
DeleteWhy are you trying to scare me, Barb?