Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Why I'm Not an iMom

Seriously.  I can barely plug in the toaster without starting an electrical fire.

Click here for my story in today's Chicago Parent on why my parenting remains decidedly low-tech.


  1. I am SO with you on this one. It baffles people that I have a landline phone. My 5-year-old cell phone (that's, like, ancient in cell phone years) is for emergencies only and costs $8 a month. I don't think apps would do me any good... I'd probably just ignore them the same way I ignore my real-life responsibilities.

  2. And have you seen the new'ish product (new to me could be 3 years old) for toddlers that you put YOUR iphone/ipad in so THEY can play with it...jingle the friggin keys already (and even then I worried they'd get lost...or gouge an eye)

  3. Cute article! I'm with you when it comes to technology. My son bought me an iPOD for Christmas a few years back, he programmed my songs in for me, as well as always fixing my cell phone (I can't remember how to change it from vibrate to ring :)

    I don't understand the APPS thing a lot myself but son has an APP on his phone that you can look at the stars in the sky and tell what they are by holding your cell phone up to the sky; that was kind of a neat one :)


  4. But just think of the possibilities for apps. BTW...I have I think, not the new IPHONE, but the one before the new one or the one before that. People ask me what IPHONE I have and I say "shit if I know". (whoops can I say shit on your blog?) Anyhew...why go to mass?...have a "Guilt app" where you can get sermonized, type in your sins, and it'll give you penance (God I'm going straight to hell for this suggestion).

    Self Arrest App.-you choose the crime that you committed and it gives you the bond amount that's taken out of your bank acct.

    Dating app-you type in your personality disorders and it tells you if the other person that you just met with their personality disorders is the right one for you or tells you to run as fast as you can away from the wack job.

    When It's Time For A Drink app- you type in all the daily, no..hourly...no every fricken (notice I didn't say the other F word), second stress trigger that you have encountered and it not only tells you when to have a drink, but what to drink, and at what dosage.

    BTW...I have a weather channel app. It not only tells me what the temperature is, but, get this, "what it feels like". Are you kidding me? How presumptuous. For example this week at 95 degees it told me it felt like 100 degrees. WTF...to me it felt like 200 degrees! Ok...I'm done rambling. My app is telling me I need more java and that I'm fricking (see didn't say it)nuts, wacked and plain old stupid for running 4 miles in this 98 degree heat that really feels like 105 (if you're living in an igloo).

    Formerly MBF

  5. You had me at "they often ask if I have Wi-Fi. I shrug my shoulders and offer them dip instead"!! That was the funniest line I have read in a long time! I wish I could commiserate with you, but although I'm not tecchy, I desperately wish I was.

  6. Good for you for keeping it low-tech. The only reason you would need to enter information about when you changed diapers etc. is if you were trying to keep track of how much money you were spending on diapers or something.

    Don't get me wrong.. some tracking apps are great (think: exercising and other things where you can set goals). But so many of them are simply overkill.

  7. As an avid reader, I can't help but notice you haven't written or posted anything since 03 July. This makes me wonder where you are Marianne? I'm guessing, high up, sequestered in some monastery with some monks in the Himalayan Mountains writing your next post or maybe you were kidnapped by Donny boy?

  8. Haley - Right! Another thing to make us feel guilty for not doing, right? I'm so with you.

    Andrea - I haven't seen that! But I don't get out much.

    Betty - That IS a cool app. Perhaps I can come around at some point?

    MBF - You may be onto something! And thanks for noticing I've been gone. We've had houseguests, trips to LegoLand, the beach & a Sox game. I'll have plenty to blog about soon!

    Sandra - thank for coming over! I LOVE new readers! I'd bake you cookies if I knew how to turn on the oven.

    Youngman - I did experience some cool apps this weekend with a guest, but I'm still not sold. I'm not sure if I want one more person or device telling me what I should do. The voices in my head usually take care of that, as in "eat more cake."

  9. Maplewood - I'm still waiting on the outdoor movie pic! No pressure.

  10. A friend of mine switch off babysitting once a month so that we can have date nights. She doesn't have WiFi and it drives me crazy. Anytime I leave to babysit I say, "I'm heading to the Dark Ages."

  11. I forgot about that...whoops. Sunday I'll send it.
    great memory btw...