Thursday, January 10, 2013

A Post of Desperation

I was so honored when Mary Deering from the Evergreen Park Library offered to host my very first book-signing for Epic Mom coming up on February 6th.  It felt so swanky and high-brow.

Let's forget for a second that I am neither swanky or high-brow.

I had visions of  wearing my least-stained JC Penney sweater and greeting 10, maybe 12, readers who really liked the book.  This was going to be great!
































Then I got nervous.

What if nobody came? 

What if it's just me?

I'd be left eating all those fabulous Jewel cookies.  By myself.

I needed to go the extra mile to make this event worthwhile.  I needed to provide an enticement to get 3, maybe 4, people through those front doors.

I called my sister-in-law Missy and begged:

You know I can't bake, Missy!  But you?  You are like the most incredible pastry chef EVER.  Please, please, please.  I'll give you ANYTHING.  Just whip up some of those really good cookies you made last Christmas and I promise to never make fun of you again for being from the northside.  People might not come for the book, but EVERYONE likes cookies.   

Missy agreed.

So if you were waffling on whether you would attend, know this:

There will be cookies.  Good ones.  I promise.

Register today at: PLEASE COME SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE A LOSER.

You don't have to buy a book.  You don't have to listen to my presentation.  You can just walk in, grab a cookie and go.  Like an Academy Awards' Night Seat-Filler.

Just promise me you'll think about it, okay?

Thanks, mom.


44 comments:

  1. There will be people there, I'm sure, cookies or not. I wish I lived closer because I'd absolutely be there.

    True story about going to a library presentation like this. The guy who wrote Eragon, Christopher Paolini, did a lot of self promoting of the book before it got picked up by one of the major publishers, so he did book signings at libraries, bookstores, etc. He did a nice presentation wearing a costume and drawing a dragon, so you might want to work on that part, LOL (just kidding).

    Anyway, my daughter was into that type of books at the time (mind you this was about 10 or so years ago). So I see there's a presentation at our local library so we went. Bought a book that he signed (remember that).

    Nice presentation and there were about 20 people there, most bought books.

    My daughter ended up not finishing the book due to some issues she was having. I wasn't interested in that kind of book so when I was doing some clearing out of her room (she had some depression issues; long story but she wasn't living there at the time) I saw the book and I didn't know what to do with it because it was signed by him to her. So I threw the book away.

    Dumb.

    A few years later when the book got picked up and popular, I read that original signed copies of his first book, published by himself, were going for $5000..............

    I might want to send my Epic Mom book to you for you to sign it..........

    honestly true story; we were living in Billings, Montana at the time and he was from a small city in Montana.

    betty

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    1. Oh my gosh!! What a story. I'm ordering my Wonder Woman costume right now. Thank you for sharing - I needed a little optimism about this (I really am nervous). As always, Betty, I'm so happy when you stop by! And I'd sign your book even if I was super-famous and/or more likely, thoroughly delusional!

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  2. will there be samples of RumChata?
    MBF

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    1. They told me no liquor. See my outside after.(;

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  3. Good call on making sure the cookies aren't from Jewel. Jewel cookies are gross.

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    1. I don't believe in gross cookies.

      They are are loved and cherished in my world.

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  4. I love cookies and I love my book and girl if I lived in your area I would stand on the street corner and force people in the doors and THEY WOULD buy a book!! I think Betty had a great point maybe I could send my copy to you for a signature.
    Oh and girl that is one A W E S O M E photo of you up there you looking smoking hot and very approachable!!! if I pay for postage can I have a cookie sent to me??? Wishing you positive thoughts and a great turn out I know it will be great!!

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    1. Thank you!! I would of course sign your book (tell the post office it's "Media Mail" and it's only like $2 to send, I'll mail it back to you!). mostlymarianne@gmail.com

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  5. Had both of my epic signings at Keegan's Pub. It was great! I sold tens of books.

    Your event will be packed!

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    1. Keegan's Pub??? Why didn't I think of that? I would've come had I known about it. Thanks for the encouragement!

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  6. I totally wish I lived closer! How exciting for you! If you ever take your book tour on the road, I'll totally hook you up with a location!! Congrats again on your much deserved success lady!

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    1. Thank you, Jen! I am such a nervous wreck, but it's good to take a chance now and then, right?

      Right?

      Well, there's always RumChata I suppose.

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  7. I could send a life size copy of my face stuck to a popsicle stick, and some nutella rice krispie treats...You are awesome by the way!

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    1. I already created my Andrea Popsicle Person for the event. I think it will help calm me.

      That's not weird, is it?

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  8. Ok I really think I might try and come!
    I am so far from Evergreen Park and a little afraid of suburban traffic at that time of night but I might give it a try.
    And I love Jewel cookies.
    And wine.
    Love wine.
    And you will be a hit.
    A huge hit!

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    1. I'm scared to say this, Kari. They won't let me do wine. Or beer. Or RumChata. But if you do come by and I happen to leave my purse open and you happen to see a flask in it? Baby, that's all yours.

      Thank you for nice words!!

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  9. I'm with Andrea- I'll be there by proxy :)

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  10. Wow! I am so excited for you!! Fame at last! Don't forget us, as you climb the dizzying heights of fame.
    By the way, you look stunning in that picture. :)

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    1. Thank you, Lily! No affordable flights from the UK? Stupid international travel rates.

      Oh well - one day! I think my photographer friend photoshopped that pic. I actually have a unibrow and acne scars.

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  11. I so wish I could! I'm also going to send a life size copy of my face on a popsicle stick ... (oh dear heavens that looks creepy..)

    You will be FABULOUS! You'll see .. (:

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    1. Um. I already made your popsicle person, too. It'll be sitting next to Andrea's.

      Your okay with that, right? Andrea is super nice.

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  12. I picture you with an agent who will tell you what to wear and secure publicity and attendance. Am I wrong? Did you fire that PR person?

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    1. When you say "PR person," you really mean the little voice in my head that encourages me to shower every day, right?

      (;

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  13. First, that was the funniest and sweetest invite I think I've ever read. Second, I fell across your blog for the first time today and then realized I live just two hours from this library. I'm seriously considering going. But I'll have to see if my husband doesn't think it's crazy that I stayed up late this evening and read a random blog with an author who I've never read but is doing a book signing and offering delicious cookies. Hmmm, that sounds totally sane, right? :-)

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    1. Just visited your hilarious blog (cracked up over your christening/being ordained photo). How do yo have 10 kids and NOT live in the Irish Catholic southside Chicago community of Beverly? We are your people. Thank you for stopping by!! It makes me happy. Not 10-kid happy. But happy.

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  14. If I was anywhere close, I would totally be there. And I'd bring extra cookies! You'll be fabulous.

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    1. I know you would, Skwish! And I know you'd be there to sew up my now-ripped JC Penney sweater. Thank you!!

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  15. I put it on my calendar! Totally excited about it. Way to go Marianne!!!!

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    1. Oh thank God. I'm praying your kids are all better by then, Katie!!

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  16. First of all, I am really enjoying the book! I would never guess you are six feet tall!!! Secondly, I so wish I could be there! I am certain you will do great!!! And I know people will come!

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    1. Thanks, Kat! I am almost freakishly tall. It's kinda fun now. Appreciate the words of encouragement!!

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  17. There will be people! You will be awesome. the cookies will be delicious. I wish I lived closer! I'd make my whole family go.

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  18. If I lived in Chicago (or even within an 8-hour drive of Chicago--there ARE cookies at stake here, after all), I would totally come to your book signing! Don't worry though; cookie-lovers are everywhere. If you bake them, they will come.

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    1. Actually, if I baked them, nobody would come. Thank God my sister-in-law knows how to cook!

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  19. I wish I could go!!!! I finished reading your book, and it's AWESOME. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

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    1. Whew. I'm so glad you liked it. How bad would it have been to HATE the writing of a book with your stuff on the COVER? AWKWAAAAAARD.

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  20. :-( I would so come, grab a cookie and buy a book.......if only I had saved enough pennies for the flight!

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    1. Stupid airlines. Ruin everything.

      Thanks for the support anyway!!

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  21. I so wish I lived closer in order to come. You + Cookies = Paradise.

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    1. When we finally make it to "The View," we're flying you in.

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  22. If I was back in Chicagoland I would have been there...for cookies.

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