Friday, January 24, 2014

Where Have All the Good Brain Cells Gone?

I am super-stoked.

My friend Becky asked Joe and me to be on her trivia team tonight and I LOVE trivia.

For years, I kicked ass watching Jeopardy! and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

My brain had no problems regurgitating the phases of meiosis, the capitals of each state, and just about every pop culture reference EVER.

Yet as we draw closer to the big event, I did forget one little thing.

My brain is rotting.

Since having kids, I pull into the wrong driveway on a weekly basis.  I balk at leaving messages because I can never provide my return phone number ("I know there are a bunch of 3's and 7's....uh....hang on, it'll come, it'll come....uh....").  I waste laundry detergent constantly because I can never remember if I already dropped a fresh cup in.

So much for the old Marianne who once rattled off the entire Periodic Table by symbol and atomic radius.

Because now?  If I can go a week without losing my phone I consider it a triumph.

Just the other day, Joey bumped his head.  I kept insisting on patting him there, forgetting that he had a sensitive goose egg.  Frustrated and annoyed with my medical amnesia, the kid provided his own version of the Post-It Note:


Translated: Touch my head again, lady, and there will be hell to pay.
I really should have given this whole trivia thing some more careful thought before committing.  I hope Becky can forgive me if I turn out to be a miserable failure.  What if I screw up and let the team down?  That kind of personal shame can stay with a girl forever.

Unless you're me.

My memory is now only two days long.

The whole thing will be forgotten by Monday.

Now what was I talking about?

20 comments:

  1. OMG that picture!!!!!!!!! And I had no clue what "meisosis" was. I thought my brain must be even more rotten than yours. Then I googled it, and google told me you meant "meiosis." Aha.

    Your brain is definitely rotting. =D

    xoxo
    -andi

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    1. SEE?? I can't even spell anymore!!! Spellcheck kept trying to tell me it was wrong, but I didn't believe him. I'm so screwed.

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  2. What I said on facebook is true: all I have left in my brain is random song lyrics. Mostly from the 70s.

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    1. I'm with you, but lean more towards music of the 80s. :)

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  3. I do hope that this is videotaped!

    Hugs,
    Carol

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    1. Sorry - not this time! Thank goodness.

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  4. I was unaware that you had gone a day without losing your phone. I have a feeling the competitive edge will kick in and override any mom brain symptoms, bringing you back to life in stellar winning form!

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    1. The darn pope questions KILLED us! Next year! And I still don't know where my phone is.

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  5. Lol. How'd you do at trivia? Did you rock it?! I'm sure you only forget the important or common-sense stuff now. The utterly useless info is totally safe. :o)

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    1. We didn't do half bad - but went for broke at the end and it was our undoing. Next year? We TAKE it!

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  6. Hope it went well! If you can survive a few days with your memory, that is great. I can't even remember from room to room what I wanted to do there. And forget remembering to get something from the store if it is not written on the list. I too could remember a phone number the first time I heard it and remembered it for a long time. Now I'm lucky if I remember my phone number :)

    betty

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    1. I'm glad you stand in confusion with me, Betty!! I appreciate it!

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  7. This made me laugh so hard. You aren't alone. I keep expecting to wake up one day and turn to the person sleeping next to me and ask, "Who am I? Where am I?"

    I blame the whole child induced sleep disorder. I mean, it's scientifically proven that not sleeping kills brain cells. I'm pretty sure moms will be the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.

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    1. As long as they give us zombie moms wine, life will be perfect!

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  8. Oh, gosh, so true! The brain cells just start breaking down, and pretty soon you're your mother. I should speak for myself here, I guess. I agree with Lillian....sleep deprivation contributes to brain death. Since we never sleep a good night again, once we have that first child...we're all doomed.

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    1. Doomed! Doomed?? It can't be!

      Now what were you saying?

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  9. Aw, we only retain what's important anyhow - all the rest is rubbish. And if you forget which driveway is yours it's okay - but I would worry if you find yourself going into the strange house, start making dinner and putting someone else's children in the tub...

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    1. Making dinner? Ha ha. You're funny, Julie. ;)

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  10. You are a human Dory...and I can sooo relate. How the heck am I going to get through my doctoral defense???

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