Thursday, May 17, 2012

Sticking to My Guns

According to recent media reports, there is an unsettling increase in the number of organized militia groups throughout the U.S.  What this trend reveals about the state of our union is troublesome. 

But then I wondered what exactly constitutes a militia member.  Because if you look at my boys' impressive arsenal of automatic weapons and handguns, I'm fairly certain we would qualify:

There are automatics, semi-automatics, and handguns.  One of our newest additions is the Nerf Vortex Lumitron Blaster which glows in the dark.  Because nothing says family fun like having illuminated Nerf discs smacking you upside the head as you sit in the dark trying to catch up on Smash (great show by the way).  Our vast empire of Super Soakers (currently occupying half the garage) only further confirms our status as militant extremists.  I'm sure the FBI already has a file on us.

The fact is, I never intended to allow my boys to have toy guns.  Even though I come from a long line of law enforcement people, I didn't want to help glamorize violence.  But when Danny got his first Nerf gun a few years ago, I couldn't deny the obvious:

This sh*t is fun.

Our family engages in full-out battles of skill and luck with our Nerf weaponry.  The kids try to hit the moving ceiling fan for target practice.  They have come up with so many creative spins on "cops and robbers" that I don't dare ban the practice now.

It's all just another example of how parents lose some of that rigidity as the kids grow.  Flexibility is so important in raising children.  And it certainly comes in handy when you're diving behind the coffee table as Danny unloads an entire magazine on your jiggly arse.


  1. I loved this post! And that picture....I am drooling over your collection. Whenever I see them at thrift stores, I snap them up. Then my wife re-donates them when I am not looking. I love that image of you getting nailed in the dark by glow in the dark disks...too funny.

  2. You mean that we, a house of all girls, have nerf weapon that I dont see in your picture. (Greta loves her nerf crossbow!) Oh and these NATO rioters, why are they all wearing masks? Man up!

  3. Somehow, somewhere, Jack has acquired several items pictured on your blog. I've tried. I lost. Little boys and toy guns go together like Barbie and Ken. I've surrendered.

    And oh my goodness...Smash is the best show ever.



  4. With my oldest two, guns were not allowed, not even water guns. Now, with six boys in the house, we have all kinds of them, well, mostly Nerf. I haven't ever gotten into a battle, but maybe I will now.

  5. Gweenie - Don't tell the Nerf people, but that BIG automatic one is from Goodwill - $3.99. Danny grabbed it right off the cart as they rolled it out. Most were gifts, though.

    Robyn - Crossbow??? How did I miss that one? NATO rioters need to be pelted 24/7 with Nerf guns. Death by a thousand foam bullets.

    Pistol - thank you!

    Megan - The stuff is fun. And I'm LOVING Smash - how did I miss this show???

    Jewels - Give it a whirl! You'd be surprised at how fun it is!

  6. Oh, I could have written this one for myself, though I have to admit your stockpile of weapons is pretty impressive.

    I always said "no toy guns" for my son and before I knew it he had a small collection and now he kills entire cities online.

  7. Sounds like good, clean family fun. Fantastic!

  8. I just found you at Linda's and you are a straight shooter (pun totally intended)! Thanks for keeping it real!


  9. What fun!

    I want a Nerf Vortex Lumitron Blaster so I can shoot hubby. Hey, a girl has to have goals.

  10. Crack You Whip - I'm holding off with the online killing for now. Next year, probably.

    Yonks - thanks and welcome again!

    Karianne - I have no choice but to keep it real. Everyone can tell when I'm lying. And I Love the unique spelling of your name. (; - Marianne

    Gene Pool Diva - Comes in handy with outdoor night play too, if you know what I'm saying. Geez, I'm going to hell.

  11. Oh my gosh! Your boys are the cutest things ever!

    Just wait til they get old enough to have REAL guns . . . ugh.

  12. Great story Marianne, ditto on the arsenal it matches ours, although we haven't been active since my youngest became a mid-teen. I fondly remember walking down the main street of our then hippie community with my five year old in full camo gear complete with helmet and a life size wooden replica M16 his father made him.
    We often played a game we called '10 second shooting' - where if you were shot you played dead for 10 seconds, giving the other person a chance to hide. 'Capture the Flag' was cool too.
    Now the four of us virtually shoot each other on computers in COD 4. Fun!

  13. Judy - Thank you! And REAL guns? Not ready to even think of that yet! Oy vey.

    Julie - Ha! I would have loved to have taken pictures of your son and the looks he garnered. Classic. I'll be sharing your games with the boys tomorrow - always look for different ways to play Nerf!

  14. This sounds like so much fun I might need to start stock piling my own arsenal of nerf weaponry. I keep imagining a surprise attack on my husband when he gets home from work...hehehhe.

  15. itsadomelife - now that might get you in more trouble than you think...teeheeeheee

  16. Every year the cops in Orlando set up a place where people can turn in exchange for new sneakers.

    Offering amnesty, along with a lot of free shoes, Central Florida authorities swapped for more than 2,000 guns on Friday during the 13th Annual Kicks 4 Guns campaign.

    The annual event grants amnesty to citizens who want to get rid of weapons and gives them sneakers or gift cards in exchange. Friday's estimated final tally: 2,230 guns.

  17. Carrie Lynne - what a great program! Do they take Nerf guns?