Muscle Shirts and Haircuts

I watch a lot of "What Not to Wear."  Mostly because I like the "befores."  There are other women who go to the grocery store in their pajamas!  Look at the mom in her scrunchie from 1989!  Is that a monobrow?  Oh how I feel a little superior because I actually throw on the occasional scarf and eyeliner.

That is, I feel superior until you consider my hair.  Until yesterday, I hadn't had it professionally cut in over 3 years (mostly because I hack off bits here and there and really don't want the stylists to yell at me).  Yet with the recent humidity, even my own butchering wasn't calming matters down.  Time for the real deal.  For the record, my husband gets his hair cut every 6 weeks by a pretty boy named "Ralph" who wears buttoned down, tight club shirts and has a lush salon in downtown Chicago.  I went to the neighborhood girl who has 3 sons and looks like me.  I begrudge my husband nothing, but Ralph?  When SuperCuts is right down the street?  Really?  I digress...more on my coupon cutting and bargain hunting another time: it's really my issue more than his.

Like a psych patient to her therapist, I confessed all.  No, those weird angles came from me.  Yes, I know it's not a good idea to trim your own bangs.  No, I'm not sure how exactly the back of my head looks...but from the frown, not too good, huh?

So I let Toni work her magic.  I initially had convinced myself when I made the appointment that a gay man named "Tony" was cutting my hair and was so excited.  But Toni turned out to be a very nice lady and didn't take it personally when my face fell as I realized she wasn't going to be the flamboyant gay male hairdresser of my dreams.

After a good hour of snipping the mess I'd contributed to for years, I had an actual style.  And like the ungrateful nominees on ""What Not to Wear," I was not instantly impressed.  I missed my hair.  If I had been watching me on "WNTW," I would have yelled at me.  You have a style!  You don't look homeless anymore!  We can see your face!  Instead I thanked her, drove home and cried for an hour.

Now that I have had a full day with it, it's growing on me. Toni did a great job, and I'm just another silly mom that sometimes has a hard time with change.