Thursday, April 28, 2011

Coffee Grind Prophesies

I was pregnant with my second son when I went to one of those coffee grind psychic parties hosted by a friend of mine.  I wasn't too far along in pregnancy, so I took off my wedding ring, sucked in my stomach, and marched over to the gypsy-like woman with my empty coffee cup to see what she could glean. 

Almost instantly, the woman saw penises.  "Ohhh...dis mean you surrounded by many, many boy" (I'm not sure she had a Bosnian accent, but for purposes of the blog, I'm going with it).

I didn't know at the time that #2 baby was a boy, so I just nodded.

"Your husband (I hadn't mentioned I was married)...your husband surround by penises, too.  Lots of penises there."

If my husband didn't have 5 brothers and work 2 jobs that were all men, this statement could have been upsetting to a wife.  Again, I nodded. 

"Many many penises I see."

Now I just wanted her to stop saying penises. 

"I see boys.  No girls for you.  Dat twenty dollars.  Cash only."

When I was pregnant with my 3rd son, I went to the ultrasound convinced I was having a girl.  My mom had even hidden a tiny pink baby girl doll in her purse.  The ultrasound tech hesitated before announcing it was another boy.

I burst into tears.  My mom tried to comfort me.  My friend handed me a tissue.  And I shook my head.

"No, I'm happy!"

I couldn't have been more relieved.  I had been secretly hoping for a third boy from the time I found out I was expecting.  I didn't know how to braid hair!  I hated Barbies!  I was a boy mom!  I liked sports, mismatched clothes, and was completely incapable of finding a girl name that wasn't associated with someone who called me "Giraffe" in high school. 

Now don't get me wrong.  I would have loved and treasured any daughter that came into my life.  But it would have broken my heart to watch a child of mine go through the "mean girl" years after being a six footer myself by 6th grade and finding no reprieve from the childhood taunts.  Not that boys don't have their issues. But for that, I've got a husband who grew up with a lot of penises and seems pretty adept at all things male.

So instead, I will wait patiently for a future daughter-in-law who likes coupons and online shopping.  Perhaps we can even lunch together on two-for-one days.  Joy.

1 comment:

  1. I am with you, sister! Boys are the way to go. We need to vacation again so that we can bring our own football team of boys.