Sunday, April 17, 2011

Pride Goeth Before Your Kid Bites the Neighbor

Karma is a funny thing.  Several years ago, a mom at the park was telling me how her 3 year old son was never invited over for play dates because he bit other kids.  I was outwardly sympathetic and assured her that her son would grow out of it.  But by the time my husband got home, I was happy to point out to him another parent's "deficiency" in not properly rearing her child.

Our Danny promptly bit a kid at preschool the next day.

Karma Smack Down #2 came in the form of infant sleeping-through-the-night superiority.  Danny slept through the night at 4 weeks and Jack slept through the night at 6 weeks.  My husband and I smiled, congratulated ourselves on being parents-of-the-year, and judged everyone who complained about being unable to get their babies to sleep.  Infancy was such a piece of cake for us, we had our third son, Joey, in quick order.  Joey proceeded to scream his way through not only the night, but the first full year of his life...24/7. I drank a lot during this period.

So by now, you'd think we'd learned our lesson.  Not so fast, loyal reader.  Karma Smack Down #3 was Potty Training.  Danny was trained inside of a day.  Jack took a grand total of 45 minutes.  Oh how smug we were listening to the woes of other parents.  Obviously they had neither our skill or perfect children or they would not have an almost four-year old running around in a diaper.

Enter child #3 (Joey), who karma sent to this earth to destroy our inflated egos on a daily basis. Our first attempt at potty training was at 3 which failed miserably as he refused to get off the potty for 10 hours because he didn't want to wear underwear.  I folded.  Attempt #2 was about 2 months ago at which time he gleefully wore underwear and peed in it every 10 minutes pointing out that he was still a baby.  He threw diapers at me and insisted "these."  Attempt #3 starts next week during the older boys' Spring Break from school.

So I've learned my lesson.  Judge not lest ye be brought to your knees by fate/God/karma/your children.  I've even committed to my friends to refrain from judging parents until their children are grown and are either CEOs or incarcerated at Joliet Penitentiary.  My one miniature friend (as opposed to Atheist friend) called me on my b.s.  "Be honest, you're not going to commit to FINAL judgment yet, but we all judge each other's parenting and children."

She may be right, but I'm still going to try to fight the good fight.  Or I'll be sending my son off to college in the world's largest pull-up.

1 comment:

  1. If we don't judge other people's parenting we will quickly run out of things to discuss while at the park.