Thursday, June 9, 2011

20th High School Reunion? Pass.

I've only recently rejoined Facebook after deactivating my account last year.  I was a full-blown junkie in desperate need of counseling.  But like most addicts, a relapse was inevitable.  I'll be sure to provide full disclosure on my addiction in a detailed post, but that story must wait for another day.

As I cautiously dipped my toe back into the Facebook waters, I was somehow included in a group for my 20th high school reunion.  Out of curiosity, I looked at the page.  I received my diploma with about 500 kids, and I could hardly recognize a soul.  Except one.  The girl who made my life a living hell from 7th grade through high school graduation. Let's just call her Herodias (I like biblical references because I know how much they annoy Atheist-Friend).  For my "Old Testament Only" readers, Herodias was the gal who demanded the head of John the Baptist.

With her smiling profile picture staring up at me, I clicked Herodias' info.  A mother with daughters.  Daughters.  For avid readers, you remember that one of the reasons I am relieved to have sons is my horrific experience with mean girls.  Six-footers with limited athleticism in high school are pretty much the low-hanging fruit for Queen Bees.  I was a sheltered kid who attended mass, did extra credit, and loved diagramming sentences.  I mean, really?  Couldn't Herodias even try to look for a challenge?

For years, Herodias mocked my Kmart jeans that were way too short, my ultra-flat hair in the age of super-sized poofs, and the horrible facial hair young brunettes display unwittingly before they discover the miracles of waxing or electrolysis.  I was a train wreck and Herodias knew it. 

As a mother now, I suppose I should recognize the "bully" profile and feel a certain amount of sympathy towards poor Herodias.  Many bullies come from single-parent homes.  They have less frequent contact with adults.  Esteem is low.  Herodias could only feel better by making me feel worse.  But I'm still not ready to let go of that defeated 13-year-old girl with the bad posture and shy demeanor. When I got a follow-up email from another friend from high school asking why I was no longer on the FB group, I told her the truth:  the wounds were still there and perhaps only aggressive therapy and prescription medication could prop me up so as to endure a 50th reunion.  Sorry, committee.  You may just want to cross me off your list for the next few decades.

They say that living well is sometimes the best revenge.  As this blog clearly shows, my life is far from perfect.  Yet I am happy.  I do sometimes miss the career that introduced me to phenomenal people I still love.  I also miss the opportunities to travel, develop creatively (in a non-blog way), and improve on my managerial skills.  But nothing compares to the three little boys I over-schedule and cook frozen pizza for. 

Then there's my husband who loves me despite the fact that I listen to Rent and have no rhythm whatsoever (it was his idea to take dance lessons for our wedding).  Naturally, Joe was one of the cool kids in high school - resembling a boy-band member with high cheekbones and stunning blue eyes.  He thinks I'm exaggerating when I tell him what a geek I was in high school.  He doesn't want to admit he married the equivalent of "Captain of the Band-Campers."

So if I'm not always living well (or rather perfectly), I am living with the best 4 guys in the world. The universe knew what it was doing in making sure I'd never have to live with a mean girl of my own making.  My boys like my Target clothes and tell me I'm beautiful as I pick dried milk off my shorts.  I don't feel I need to prove anything to  Herodias.  Plus, the poor thing is going to have 3 teenage daughters under her roof in a few years.

Karma is a bitch.

15 comments:

  1. Oh boy, then what did I do to have three teenaged girls living under my roof at the same time? I wasn't mean, I swear!

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  2. I love your posts! Very entertaining! - Ben

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  3. Susan - there is no doubt you and your husband will raise some of the finest women of th 21st Century. They will take care of you when you're old and go shoe shopping with you for orthoepedics. No such luck on my end.

    Ben - Thank you! This blog represents my break from laundry. (:

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  4. Love it!!! Love - Love - Love - Love it! Did I mention I LOVE this post? You go girl!!!

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  5. I wouldn't have known Herodias was a biblical name had you not pointed it out. I don't have a problem with the bible, it's a great work of fiction. The name sounds Greek to me. And yes I agree, Karma is a bitch.

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  6. I'll have your 3 boys wisk my 3 girls away when they get especially nasty as teenagers. Then you'll be stuck with them too. Sounds like a plan.

    I said the same thing as you when I got added to the list, "Why would I want to get together with these people? I see the ones I want to still see and not the others. Like I'm going to go and hang out with these people that were mean to me? Or, lets be fake all night and pretend that we're all friends." Whatever.

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  7. Thanks, Shel! I had a conversation with a friend last night who was saying that she still gets very upset thinking about her junior high years. I don't feel that slamming shut that yearbook-chapter of my life is a bad thing.

    Atheist-Friend: (per my usual) - Be quiet and go bake me something.

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  8. Sara - sounds like a play! And I look forward to being a charming in-law one day to one of your daughters. Did you take yourself off the list? Too many happy-happy posts about high school and the reunion were making me nauseous. xoxo Misanthropic Marianne

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  9. I'm skinnier than all the mean girls in high school. Therapy over. I did just recently join a group that was suggested to me called Thunderbolts in the Sky. It's a page honoring all the people from Andrew who have died. Mar, it's so morbid and I log on each day to see how people died so I can be careful not to do what they did. Check it out...

    https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/home.php?sk=group_191713720877370&notif_t=group_activity

    Meg

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  10. Great blog as usual, Marianne! I think you should go to your reunion, at least make an appearance. Herodias will now be jealous of your supermodel height and your boy band husband -- like bringing your very own Joe McIntyre!

    Jeanine

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  11. Awh shucks, Miss Jeanine...you do go on.

    Thanks for the encouraging words. I guess if I felt there were any benefits to going, I might consider. Yet FB has already served as a great way to reconnect with the HS friends I valued. My merry band of honor students helped me so much through those years, so I'm glad I got to find them without having to suffer any post-traumatic-stress episode upon seeing Herodias.

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  12. Karma IS a bitch, and has proven a real phenomenon at least for me. As a short, glasses-wearing honor student with unfortunate skin in a land of slightly inbred Amazon women (the average height for girls in my HS was 5'9"), I intentionally stay on Facebook just to keep tabs on the mean girls who have stayed in our 2 stop light town and turned orange from fake baking. Facebook is an amazing window into the effects of karma.

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  13. @ Sara. Amen. I knew you were a fellow honors student! A sense of humor is a sign of intelligence - "2 stop light town & turned orange from fake baking"...hilarious! You paint a perfect picture of karmatic justice.

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  14. hi, great post, i came from a rather dysfunctional family where the oldest son my brother was the new missiah according to both parents, both my sis and i were you live here so what,i went to calumet high school in mid 50s and really didnt make any friends, and my clothes were shall we say rather unorthodox, army fatigue pants before being fashionable, flannel shirt,dads old wing tips, you get the picture.one day in fact the only day ever i wandered into the ymca building at 81st and racine where all the in kids hung out, i wasent in there 10 minutes before i was the object of ridicule for the clothes i was wearing and much teasing, i left from there quickly and in fact i left high school quickly over this, and never went back,but it did instill in me to tell my kids when they were little and my grandkids to be friend some child in their class who dosent have a friend and to never make fun of a kid who dosent have the proper clothes, and oh yes, that hurt happened many years past, but i still feel the pain of it, great blog, you seem like a person with a kind heart,rtd chicago copper.

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  15. Anonymous - thank you for sharing. It doesn't really seem to matter how much time passes, those wounds we carry from our childhood never seem to heal fully. I am so glad for the lessons you teach your children & grandchildren. We do the same here. In some way, I hope it helps.

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