PSST. This is Marianne. I am in total football bowl mode now, and still slightly upset over Green Bay's failure to beat Minnesota yesterday (which would clinched a play-off berth for my beloved Chicago Bears). Due to these distractions and general inability to be funny, I am honored to turn over the blogging reins to J.R. from The Concoctions of My Life. She has teenagers. Take note.
J.R. is also one of my very first followers, right after my mom and high school stalker. For her unbridled support and loyalty, I am eternally grateful. Without further adieu, please welcome the delightful J.R.!
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Hi I am J.R. I am not Marianne! Glad we got that taken care of. Let's see. What do Marianne and I have in common?
In all seriousness, a big THANKS! And a Heartfelt Cyber-Hug to my friend Marianne! Thank you for entrusting me to be a guestin your home on your blog. Hopefully you don’t regret it!
This post is actually from my archives. I so just wanted to use the word archives to make myself seem cool. I like trying to be cool like other people! My post:
Conversation with a 12 year old pre-teen:
J.R. is also one of my very first followers, right after my mom and high school stalker. For her unbridled support and loyalty, I am eternally grateful. Without further adieu, please welcome the delightful J.R.!
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Hi I am J.R. I am not Marianne! Glad we got that taken care of. Let's see. What do Marianne and I have in common?
- Marianne likes Mikes Hard Lemonade, I like Margaritas. They are both made with alcohol
- Marianne has a blog, I have a blog
- Marianne has kids, I have kids.
- Marianne sent me a package in the mail. I LOVE getting packages in the mail.
- Marianne seems like a pretty cool person. I am actually an 86 year-old prison inmate posing as a mommy blogger. But I am a pretty cool person as well.
Okay, so all of the above actually makes me over-qualified to guest post on her blog, but who am I to turn down a guest post gig? Hardee Har Har!
In all seriousness, a big THANKS! And a Heartfelt Cyber-Hug to my friend Marianne! Thank you for entrusting me to be a guest
This post is actually from my archives. I so just wanted to use the word archives to make myself seem cool. I like trying to be cool like other people! My post:
"Four-Year-Olds Bring Great Joy! Teenagers Bring Therapy Bills"
Conversation with a 12 year old pre-teen:
"You have too much makeup on! You are only 12"
"No I don't. This is how everybody looks."
"I said you could wear clear lip gloss and light mascara in Junior High. Not all of this!"
"All of WHAT? This is what EVERYBODY wears!"
"Well does everybody look like an Oompa Loompa with ORANGE foundation?"
Conversation with a 14 year old teen girl:
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean, 'WHAT DO I MEAN' ?! You know what I mean, because I have only explained it 50 MILLION TIMES! No standing in the mirror taking pictures of yourself in your bikini!"
"Oh."
"OH?!? OH MY A**!!"
Conversation with a 16 year old son:
"God Mom, I'm so glad I don't stress you out as much as the girls do! By the way, can I borrow your car?"
-silence-
Conversation with angelic, sent-from-Heaven 4 year-old:
"I love you Baby Bear!"
"I love you too mommy. You are the bestest mommy ever."
Oompa Loompa, Lolita, and Eddie Haskell's Long-Lost Cousin would probably be pretty pissed to know that I wrote about them in my blog. Although if I ever become rich and famous, it would definitely help ease their pain.
**Since this post was first written, the 4 year old is now 6, and yes she is still a flipping JOY!
The 12 year old is 14 going on 25 and I am happy to report she has learned proper makeup application.
The 14 year old is now a 16 year old newly licensed driver; she has deleted her Facebook because "it isn't really cool anymore...I'm so over it" (and has matured beyond mirrored self pics). She is currently being stalked by Mom and Dad. Read about that here.
The 16 year old is now 18, has graduated high school, has a car of his own (thanks to the money lent to him by every living family member every time that hunk of junk breaks down), is working at a movie theater and signing up for some general ed classes at the junior college.
**END NOTE: I love my kids! There are some straight-A report cards coming through, major help with chores, and family unity that makes me proud. But goodness gracious, when they want to act up, it sure does help out with the blog material. Not to mention the stand-up comedy routine that I have been writing since I was 7 years old imitating Gildna Radner on Saturday Night Live.
The 14 year old is now a 16 year old newly licensed driver; she has deleted her Facebook because "it isn't really cool anymore...I'm so over it" (and has matured beyond mirrored self pics). She is currently being stalked by Mom and Dad. Read about that here.
The 16 year old is now 18, has graduated high school, has a car of his own (thanks to the money lent to him by every living family member every time that hunk of junk breaks down), is working at a movie theater and signing up for some general ed classes at the junior college.
**END NOTE: I love my kids! There are some straight-A report cards coming through, major help with chores, and family unity that makes me proud. But goodness gracious, when they want to act up, it sure does help out with the blog material. Not to mention the stand-up comedy routine that I have been writing since I was 7 years old imitating Gildna Radner on Saturday Night Live.
Oh, Lawd. I have no babies to love me, just an ADULT son who is having to deal with the different ways males & females communicate (ie. they can't without a translator) and an ADULT daughter who is living the whole "That Girl" life in NYC. But you're obviously too young to know who "That Girl" is, dammit.
ReplyDeletePlease send your baby to my house.
"That Girl" = totally Marlo Thomas. Because I'm an OLD SOUL, Kirby! How did you not know that about me??
DeleteCan I send all my babies to your house? Like tomorrow?
I have a 13-year-old son. He's totally the kind of kid that says I'm the best mom ever right before he asks for something - lol! Is that a teenage boy thing?
ReplyDeleteKeep talking, Barb. I don't care about the circumstances, I just ANYONE to tell me I'm the best mom ever.
DeleteHoly hell, I'm glad I don't have teenagers anymore. Stalking them really cut in to my spare time. I am in love with anyone who deletes their FB page...go, girl, go! You did something right, J.R!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Marianne and to you, too, J.R.
You girls kept me laughing all year- looking forward to many more.
Hugs, Tina
My father was the BEST stalker (see: special agent government training). He kept us out of a LOT of trouble. And I, too, give props to any teenage girl giving up her FB page. I'm going to need to investigate further for tips...
DeleteAlways happy to make you laugh, Tina! You're such a joy!
Loved the guest post JR, I am a big glutton for pudding oh wait I meant punishment haha where did that pudding comment come from?? My oldest was 17 about to granduate then a 15 & 12 year olds & I had to talk the hubs into a baby so I now have a 10 yr.old girl who just doesn't get why her mean ol mom won't let her FB & daddy says no make-up!!! It is the struggles that amuse me into giggles as I read all the other moms blogging on it as well but you JR are the 1st mom I have heard from who dear daughter deleted the forbidden FB on her own so a tip of the hat and a BIG BRAVO to you & her!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya Marianne I just got my book Saturday YIPPEEEE WOOHOWEEE love amazon book buying. You are one Rockin funny lady and I mean those other 2 cool chicks that helped too!!
Did you say pudding?
DeleteI wish I could talk my husband into one more! We're medically cut-off because of issues, but I'm thinking a baby girl from China? No?
You are a well-prepared parent, HeY J! I'd say you've got this stuff DOWN.
Thanks for getting the book! I hope it lives up to all the hype! And if it doesn't? I'll send you some pudding.
xoxo Walshie
I think I love you, JR. We may be kindred spirits, as I have a lovely, scrupmtious 6 year-old and several life-sucking teens. Loved this so much that I'm heading over to your blog to check you out.
ReplyDelete(Thanks Marianne, for sharing your friends!)
You do know you guys are both scaring the Dickens out of me insofar as what I have to look forward to in the future, right?
DeleteI'll put putting your numbers on speed-dial.
Funny! My 13-year-old niece has taken to posting multiple pictures of herself on facebook. She's a beautiful girl. They're not sexy. Yet. (Knock on wood that that doesn't change, although it probably well.)
ReplyDeleteI wish I had that kind of confidence at that age. I think I've destroyed most pics of me between the ages of 11-16.
DeleteOh my GOSH! J.R. used to read my blog once in a while back when I was on blogger. I never saw her again after moving to Wordpress. She always wrote the best comments! I had no idea she had a blog. How did I not know this? I thought she was all secretive with her initials. I am so happy to be reunited. I can't wait to read her blog. I hope she feels the same way about being reunited with me(she may have not followed me on my journey for a reason). So, if you were trying to escape me, J.R., I apologize in advance for my upcoming stalker-like behavior.
ReplyDeleteJ.R. is very nice to her stalkers. Trust me. (;
Delete